Do you remember the times when you were a jet-set, unanchored, twentysomething, all bright-eyed and ready to experience the world? It probably seems like forever ago that you last took a speedy motor-scooter down a windy Thai jungle road, or went free-diving with whale sharks in the Philippines. Being a parent has that “remarkable” ability to put an end to your adventurous endeavors and firmly plant you down to a more survivalist plane of existence. How am I going to pay for preschool, when’s the next vaccine, or what’s this weird rash making my child’s young life hell?
With all of these things in mind, my wife and I decided it was nigh time to go on a late honeymoon. By late, I mean three years late and two years after our son was born. It was the trip of a lifetime, and a much-needed break from the rat race that we are currently experiencing. We went to Spain and Italy, and the best part of all was that it was just us. We decided to leave our son, whom we adore and cater to his every need, at home with our mother-in-law and cousin. A proper honeymoon it was!
We were ultimately apprehensive about going through with this at the beginning and had no idea how the little guy would react to our absence. Would we be subjecting these visiting family members to two and a half weeks of balling and screams for mama and baba? What sort of things should we prepare for them while we were gone? What’s our plan in case of an emergency? How much money should we leave for food and fun? We had tons of questions we were asking each other, and we effectively had to play it by ear like jazz musicians. But, what I’m getting at is that there is a lot that needs to be considered when you leave your daughter or son for the first time.
To help you be a little more prepared if you and your spouse are considering to attempt this feat of temporary child abandonment, we’ve compiled a small list of things you need to keep in mind before setting off on a not entirely family-friendly adventure abroad.
Leave some money and a credit card for emergencies
The money is, of course, for everything ranging from food to entertainment and to keep everyone happy. We left around RMB 4,000, which ended up being more than enough during our two-week vacation, but this number might be adjusted depending on what type of goods your caregiver prefers to provide for your child. The credit card is available in case the money runs out, or there are any other unforeseen emergencies that need to be handled in your absence.
Have an emergency plan
Speaking of emergencies, we had several plans in place, ready for a couple of scenarios. We listed the emergency numbers for both local and international hospitals, and told Grandma to use DiDi to this hospital if it was nothing serious, or call this number for the ambulance if anything should happen. It is better to leave nothing to chance, especially with our son, who is quickly transforming into a sort of hybrid between a lion, dinosaur, and possibly a pirate. Make sure to check out our guide for what to do when things go wrong here.
Make some extra food that can be frozen and used for a quick meal
What I usually do is make up a large pot of gumbo or chicken noodle soup, or our ayi will make a large batch of dumplings which we will then freeze. This will not only prevent everyone from eating out all the time and spending all of your money, but will also help your visiting caregivers to relax and not have to worry about planning and prepping each meal.
Establish times when you would like them to be available for a video chat
This can get complicated when in different time zones, so it’s best to establish a block of time when you can all be available to check in and to make sure everything is OK. Our two-year-old boy isn’t the best communicator primarily through video chatting, as he’s more interested in his LEGO than the video apparition of his parental units, but daily communication is excellent to make sure all is OK and for general peace of mind.
Get one of those nifty nanny cams
I’ll admit that my Big Brother fear was significant when my spouse ordered this little Wi-Fi operated camera from Taobao, and for good reasons that I won’t get into here. But the truth of the matter is that this also provides a lot of security when it comes to knowing that everything is OK with your little one, and entertainment in watching how they all interact together on a daily basis.
Bring back gifts for everyone who enabled you to experience absolute pleasure
Finally, if your gratitude isn’t expressed through the exchange of heartfelt gifts, then chances are slim that you and your spouse will ever be able to repeat this exercise in adult-oriented freedom ever again. Bring back enough trinkets, chocolates, and cosmetics to make everyone feel loved, and only once gratitude has been expressed all around, and everyone is happy, can you begin planning your next trip. Bon voyage!
Photo: Kipp Whittaker
