Welcome to Parentville. Population: you. Current status? So tired you could cry. In your mind you think, “My kingdom for a full night of uninterrupted eight-hour sleep”. Alas, Parentville is a place of constant toil, and fatigue is the currency here. As you turn your key in the door, you think back to simpler times before who-knows-what convinced you that Parentville was a place you needed to move to. A simpler time when your fantasies consisted of cutting class and catching the latest blockbuster at a cinema the next town over. Or was it the day when you would finally be able to strike out on your own and leave your parents and their fuddy-duddy rules to their own devices? Now, as a member of Parentville, you understand why even with all the love in the world, they – your parents – couldn’t wait for you to finally fly the nest. The door opens before you as your moment’s reverie ends. Ahead awaits homework to be assisted with, picky eaters to feed, bedtime stories to be told, and maybe the inevitable crawl onto your own bed by a stowaway presently disguised as your child. Just another typical day in Parentville. Yes, you are happy, and no, you would not trade this for all the world, but you still have fantasies. .
- Any Superhero to the Rescue
As you ride the metro, sit in heavy Beijing traffic or walk home in the brisk autumnal air, your inner child wishes that Superman was real. Because if he was, he would have known to go ahead of you, cook, clean, help the kids with the homework, put them to bed, and queue up your favorite series ready for blissful, uninterrupted, binge-watching time. You aren’t too picky. In reality it doesn’t have to strictly be Superman. It could just be your partner home early from work. Or even the ayi who decided to stay on longer because somehow she sensed you might need the help. Superheroes come in all shapes and sizes.
- A Dance floor of Your Very Own
Since you came to Beijing, and if you are like most other expats in this city, then your driver’s license has been burning a hole in your pocket since you arrived. No one drives here. The only two options afforded to you are taxis and the Metro. And of those two options, you have to contend with either silence with intermittent questions from your little one, or Chinese radio being enjoyed by your Shifu. If you are among the lucky few who drive, then you know the music system is not yours. For every drop-off and pick-up, it blares one of your child’s favorite songs or another. You miss the days when you could listen to your own good “bad” music, rather than having to learn the alphabet all over again. No questions asked.
- Lazy Weekend Mornings in Bed
It is yet another weekend morning, and even though it promises to be another slow, lazy day out, there is no such luck with the kids. Unlike weekday mornings when they have to get up for school, weekends find them up at all hours of the morning demanding attention and to be fed. You look to your partner who might still be asleep next to you, or sitting half awake and equally tired, and try to telepathically communicate that you need for them to handle the kids just this morning. You are planning a simple morning of movie watching, or finally finishing that chapter of the book you have been reading for months now. No such luck. If only your partner was part of the X-men.
- They Can’t Grow up Fast Enough
Every once in a while it crosses your mind that your sweet little angels might grow up and leave you. The age of innocence will forever be lost and your baby won’t be a baby anymore. Of course this is usually when they are sound asleep or doing something insanely cute. Soon enough though, the panic sets in that they shall soon be awake and full of energy enough to stop you from doing that very important thing you were planning to do later – sitting down. Then your mind wanders over to that file called “what if”: mainly, what if they were maybe seven to ten years older and were entirely consumed by their high school finals and you can finally get back to that glass of wine you have been meaning to drink for the last……well, since they were born really?
- Granny and Me Tag-Team
It’s finally happened. You have recanted your vow of never needing your parents ever again. Most importantly, the idea of their being around isn’t taxing or inconvenient anymore. If anything, you relish their presence. That is until you remember that they aren’t next door, nor down in the next town or city. They aren’t a train ride away, but a plane and some serious planning away. As you answer yet another one of your little one’s questions – maybe asking what the tiny space where you plug in your USB charger is called – you wonder how implausible it would be for your parents to drop by your apartment here in Beijing as they did back home. You send telepathic messages for them to jump the gun, book that one-way ticket to Beijing without telling you, and just pop up when you least expect them but most need them. You have come to understand that your parents and your little ones are the perfect combination. One is always full of energy, wonder and questions, while the other is full of patience, attentive and never short of all-knowing answers.
What are some of your fantasies? Feel free to share them with us.
photos: HuffPost, thyblackman.com, lovethispic.com, today’s parent, drvc-faith.org The bump
