Parenting has its joys and challenges, and so does living in a foreign country. When it comes to traveling with kids though, those challenges can compound each other, and the joys can be hard to come by.
My kids were used to being dragged around the world long before we came to Beijing. Our older son went on his first holiday when he was 7 months old, though we drove the car to France via the ferry and avoided flying. When he was 6 we took him and his not-quite-2-year-old brother to the Gambia. Since moving to China we’ve explored all around East Asia, causing the younger once to wearily ask: “Can’t we just have a holiday where we stay in one place?”
At 13 and 10 they are now seasoned travelers, but for many Beijing families whose children were born here, that first long trip can be intimidating. We spoke to some parents who have packed up the diaper bag and taken young kids on the long haul.
For Wes Daniels, as for many others, introducing the little one to family back home was the incentive for making the journey. Daniels came to Beijing from his native Britain in 2010, initially for a two year project. He kept extending his contract, then met the woman who became his wife. Their daughter was born in 2014, and a family party when she was only two months old was the perfect opportunity to show her off.
“This was my first baby and I obviously wanted my family to see her,” he told us. “After checking all documents needed for a trip, it seemed unlikely I would get it all done so I told family we couldn’t make it back for Christmas. Actually, the document arrived just a few days before the (hopefully booked) flights, but we still didn’t tell anyone – literally only one friend in China knew.
“The whole thing went perfectly and we were able to turn up at 8am at my sister’s home on her birthday to surprise her and her family, but also to wait it out there for all my other family to visit her, videoing the reactions of each one for a lovely (and quite popular) YouTube video and a lifelong memory – which is great because it will never happen again.
Daniels shared with us his tips for flying with a very young baby.
“We started adjusting her sleep pattern to align that she would have her night sleep directly on the flight. I believe our flight was lunchtime in China, so we kept creeping her and my wife’s sleep pattern backwards by one hour each day. Breastfeeding was a very useful benefit. We used a car seat from the China side through to the UK. It was very useful for carrying and putting on top of trolleys, and we checked it in at the gate.
“It’s very important to have a dummy, water bottle, milk, or breast milk being sucked during takeoff and landing. Lots make the mistake of not doing this, then the baby will cry from blocked ears. A bassinet seat isn’t given as standard but definitely helps if you can request it.”
He and his wife now have a second child, so we asked what advice he had for flying with a baby and a toddler.
“Don’t do it!” he joked. “Seriously though, it’s tough, but I prepared a full snack tray, new toys (to be opened on the flight), drawing books, and iPads preloaded with offline videos. It was just about enough to fill the no-sleep time.
“In summary, I dread flying with kids. Even with all this preparation, there is a fine line between a perfect flight, and a flight with a small issue that upsets the whole rhythm and causes a knock-on effect that will ruin the whole holiday… It’s worth the risk though!”
Michelle Lori also met her husband in China. She came to Beijing with her parents when she was still in high school, and went to university in Liaoning, where her husband-to-be was studying for a masters’ degree. They first took their son Jason on holiday when he was six months old.
“We went to Disneyland Hong Kong,” she told us. “I was very excited, and we were staying at the Disneyland hotel so it was perfect for baby and us. Being a first time mom I was clueless so I sort of over-packed. I had everything from food to changing mats and a first aid box. I made sure I packed food he was familiar with too, and of course his stroller.”
Getting the right stroller is a big help, Lori said.
“For all the parents who travel a lot like myself, I would also encourage them to get the Yoyo stroller. My first trip I didn’t know about the Yoyo stroller, I traveled with a Hot Mom stroller. It’s such a hassle, and airlines really don’t know how to handle such strollers, but when I switched to the Yoyo I don’t need to check it in, it fits perfectly in the cabin. My son turned 3 this month and we still use it, it’s a must have!”
Lori agreed with Daniels that preparation is key.
“We made sure we checked in early, and also requested decent seats. Before taking off I made sure my baby was well fed (I breastfed till he was 2). That helped with calming him down. The flight attendants gave me a bassinet, so after takeoff Jay was fast asleep. When we landed I made sure we were last to leave the plane, just so I packed without rushing – people tend to always be in a hurry to leave flights here!”
She also finds traveling gets trickier as kids get older.
“It was always easier when he was a baby, because he wasn’t the crying type. Now he is a toddler and he talks a lot and wants to know everything. Unless he sleeps first, we will talk till he knocks off. Another challenge is when we fail to get decent seats.”
Having flown from a young age however, he isn’t fazed by airplanes.
“Jason loves planes and the attention he gets from people. He also loves watching movies on the flight. We always make sure he gets the window seat. He enjoys telling us what he can see from the window. When he sees clouds, he says ‘mommy, we are now in heaven!’”
Overall, Lori finds the benefits outweigh the difficulties.
“Traveling with Jason is fun,” she said, “because we get to teach and show him so much at a young age, and he becomes very accommodating. I have always been a traveler, and having a kid who equally loves traveling and is comfortable with flights is a plus for me. He is my travel buddy. He’s not a picky eater, and this makes life way easier for me too.”
Her top tips for traveling with kids were remarkably similar to Daniels’.
“My advice is always check in early,” she said. “Make sure your kids are well-fed and have necessary snacks. Always book your seats earlier. Always wear comfortable clothes (both parents and kids!) Pack books, coloring books, an iPad with necessary entertainment too. Get kid-friendly headphones. Parents with toddlers should also pack a backpack for their kids, this promotes independence and a sense of responsibility. Always pack a tiny bottle of paracetamol and a light blanket, flights tend to run out of those.”
Daniels and Lori both managed their flights without major incident. However Andrew Morrissey from South Africa had a cautionary tale.
“We were on our way to St.George’s, Grenada, via Heathrow (with a short stopover in Stroud, England)” he told us. “Our son Liam was 18 months old, and he needed his bottle. My wife needed the bathroom, so I took him back to get some hot water. They gave it to me in a cup, and it was way too hot for bottle purposes. As I got back to the seat, him in one arm, the water in the other, we hit quite an air pocket. The water spilled out onto his left lower leg and foot. I wasn’t thinking, and pulled off the long flight-provided sock that he was wearing… that also removed some of the skin that had been burned.”
Despite the nightmarish situation, Morrissey found that he didn’t panic.
“It was a kind of desperate time on the plane, but I went into some sort of ‘place of calm’ and I couldn’t help thinking, ‘Is this why regular people who find themselves in battle zones suddenly do stuff that makes them heroes?’ The staff were great. The boy was screaming like crazy, because he was sore and scared. I just wanted to get somewhere quiet, with less people, even the area where they rest. Didn’t happen.
“After about three hours of screaming, we arrived at Heathrow. They’d radioed ahead, and an ambulance was waiting in the tarmac, and the captain asked everyone to stay seated until we were off of the plane. My sister was in Stroud, so they had arranged to take my son to a clinic half way between Heathrow and Stroud. The wife and son went straight down the stairs into an ambulance, and I was taken by an air host through a quick immigration channel with their passports. My sister was waiting, and we met the others at the clinic.”
Morrissey was less impressed by the healthcare provided in England.
“A couple of days later, we took our son off to the local GP, before our next flight. The boy was screaming, and acting like we were killing him. The nurse looked at me like I was the worst child abuser on the planet. She was stressed, did a hugely c**p job of the bandaging, but they still charged me £80!”
But the story has a happy ending, he told us.
“The doctor in Grenada was like, ‘No, mon! Get these bandages off! Put him in the sea, and let the sand work off that dead skin! My own grandfather suffered burns over two thirds of his body! We rolled him down to the sea in his wheelchair, and threw him in, mon!’ It worked. No scars, and the boy has no memory of it.”
Few parents will face such a horrific situation, but holding a screaming baby while red-eyed passengers glare at you in annoyance can be pretty unpleasant in itself. However, with a bit of planning and preparation, flying with little kid can be fun, and make an enjoyable start to a great trip.
Top Tips for Trips Without Tears
• Don’t wait till your child gets older – flying with a baby is actually easier than with an active toddler. And the earlier you get them used to planes the fewer problem you will have.
• Book early, and contact the airline to make sure they know you’re bringing a baby. Most planes have bassinets which your little one can sleep in, but there’s a fixed number of them.
• If you’re flying to a different time zone, adjust sleep times gradually to avoid jet lag.
• Check in early, so you can make sure you get the right seat and iron out any problems.
• Plan for ear-popping – bring a bottle or dummy to suck on, or boiled sweets for older kids.
• Make sure you have plenty to keep toddlers busy – don’t rely on the in-flight entertainment!
This article appeared in the beijingkids December 2019 Giving Back issue
