Uprooting your life and moving to Beijing is a massive, scary undertaking. For many expats, it requires leaving behind friends, family, and any other sense of comfort or familiarity they know. While the city can be fickle, some transplants not only fall in love with the place, but with the people too. And specifically, one person. In this series, we’ll be talking to folks who have found love in the Capital, and ask them what it was like to meet their soulmate halfway across the globe. If you’d like to share your love story, please email drewpittock@beijing-kids.com
What is your name and your spouse’s name?
Elisabetta Guarnero and Xiong Tao.
Where are you both from?
I’m from a small city near Milan in the northwest part of Italy and Xiong Tao is from Hubei province, China.
How long have you been together?
Seven years now. We met in 2012, dated for a year and a half, got legally married in October 2013, and had a traditional wedding celebration on Chinese New Year in February 2014.
Where and how did you meet?
We met on [Chinese social network] QQ. I was alone in Beijing, [having]came here to study and improve [my]Chinese language. I was living in a dorm in BLCU Wudaokou. Xiong Tao was also in Beijing by himself, working as a landscape designer in a Chinese company in Wudaokou. I started using QQ to try and find new friends, people to talk Chinese with, and QQ has a tool to “search for people around you.” Well, he was doing the same, looking for people around him, and found me! He added me and asked me in English: “Can you speak Chinese?” I said yes, and we started chatting. After 15 to 20 days we decided to meet!
What was your first date?
Our first date didn’t start well. It was a Saturday, he asked me out to finally meet after a couple of weeks of texting and phone calls. He told me to wait for him at the bus stop near Liudaokou. I waited, and then I was like “Where the hell is he?!?” So I started texting him, I thought it was a joke, he was almost 40 minutes late. I’m always super on time and I hate waiting! He apologized and said he was stuck in traffic on a bus. So I kept waiting. After one hour he gets off the bus and when I look at him I think, “Another joke! He lied about his age!” He looked soooo old wearing a suit, super elegant leather shoes, a jacket, and even a tie. He explained many months later that he didn’t know what to wear to meet with a foreign girl, he probably watched too many American TV shows and decided to wear a suit, his best outfit!
Our date after this little incident was super romantic and super good. We walked all the way to the shopping mall in Wudaokou, he invited me for a fresh orange juice, while we kept talking about our life, then he treated me to dinner, and even invited me to the movies. While watching the movie I decided to hold his hand (he was really super sweet) and after the movie he walked me all the way to the dorm because he didn’t want me to walk alone.
At what point did you realize, “this is the one for me”?
Now I don’t actually know how, but he became the most important thing in my life! I finished the Chinese language course, changed many different jobs, and I was always angry I couldn’t find the right place to work. I was underpaid, tired, angry, I couldn’t find the right company to give me a working visa, but he was always there supporting me, comforting me. Right when I decided to give up and go back to Italy for the summer, to give Italy a try and leave China forever, I told him I was coming back to pack all my stuff and move home. I even informed my landlord I was leaving. When I came back to Beijing, at the airport he picked me up and in a super anxious and goofy way he asked me to marry him! Well I didn’t even let him finish, I was so embarrassed everyone was staring at us, well at me, the only foreigner in the airport at that moment, with a Chinese guy holding a huge bunch of roses, going on one knee reaching for something in his pocket I knew he was going to do something stupid. So I just ran away saying let’s go home! Grab a taxi and go home. Well, there I knew he was the one!
What do you love about each other?
From day one I always loved his voice, the way he speaks in Chinese to me and to other people, his way of discussing business, to negotiate, to tell stories to our son now. His voice is like music to my ears. But of course I also love his passion about work, his mind, the way he is with my family and friends. He was more romantic before, now we are so focused on our son we forgot what it is to have a night out or a romantic day at the spa.
I also love his cooking skills! He loves to cook and I love to eat Chinese food, so he’s like my personal chef.
What does he love about me? When I asked him to reply to this question he said “I just love you!”
OK seriously, he loves my independence; from day one he knew I always wanted to be financially independent and not depend on him. He always says he loves my “big round eyes”, and the fact that I’ve never made him feel inferior or not good enough. Not even the times when his salary was very little or when the company didn’t pay him, we were and we still are on the same level. It doesn’t matter how much money we make or how much money we saved in our bank account.
What can you tell us about falling in love in Beijing?
Falling in love is never easy, it’s even harder in a country where language, culture, and dating is all different from your own. So the best suggestion I can give is to follow your guts, your sixth sense. If you feel it’s right, go for it!
I never trusted social networks to find love or make friends, because sometimes it’s hard to tell what is real and what is not, but I’m thankful when I arrived in Beijing and followed this Chinese girl’s advice and opened a QQ account, because I met Tao, my husband, who gave me a super cute son, Leonardo, who is almost 15 months.
Beijing offers so many opportunities, there are so many different cultures and nationalities here, just be responsible and have lots of FUN!
Photos: Courtesy of Elisabetta Guarnero
