Whether it be romantic or platonic, personal relationships influence who you become. They are the foundations for an individual’s happiness and health, and healthy relationships with friends and family fill our days with liveliness and entertainment. We asked a few expats in Beijing to give us insight on the best relationship advice they have ever gotten.
Billy Jin
General Manager of Grand Mercure Beijing Dongcheng
“Every individual is special therefore we need to respect that and treat each friend differently.”
Mina Yan
Managing Editor at Beijingkids
“One of my favorite pieces of relationship advice comes from my best friend from high school. During my last trip home, we met up for dinner to catch up and while on the topic of our relationships, I spilled the beans on the small things that my husband does that gets on my nerves; one of them being how he always throws his laundry halfway into the basket. After I was done she looked at me like I was crazy and said ‘if that’s your biggest concern in your relationship then you need to chill the f*ck out and get over it. No one is perfect in every way, yourself included, but if they’ve got the qualities that actually matter in a long term partner, then we need to chill out and not sweat the small stuff.’ “
Camilla Kongshavn Jovanovic
Mompreneur
“100% transparency. There are no secrets, no judgments. To be able to be open and honest with each other about everything is liberating.”
Tim Coghlan
Beijingkids Board Member, Global Marketing and PR at Xiaomi Technology
“Marry someone smarter than you. Someone who will help you grow and make you a better person. All couples, but especially mixed culture couples should sit down and find a third party (counselor type) to help if needed and talk through potential future issues before getting married like; will older parents move in with the family? Will you financially support them? What are your education and child-rearing philosophies? Are grandparents full time careers? Where will you live in five, 10, 20 years, and how will you care for parents if you live in another country? And despite all the advice, there is a lot of sh*t and struggle in relationship to go through, this year has brought the worst of it too”
Patrick Fok
Journalist, Feature Story News
“Don’t go to bed before resolving an argument. But I’m not sure if that was good advice… it’s kept me up late many times!”
Tara Gillan
Director of Early Years at Beijing International Bilingual Academy (BIBA)
“Don’t underestimate the importance of self-love. You are responsible for your own happiness and well-being.”
Alessia Chizzoniti
Founder and Director of Blossom Montessori
As much as I love my friends, I never seek advice about my relationship. I may be wrong, but I think that we do not have the same backgrounds, experiences, feelings etc… and relationships are too delicate for such sharing. Having said that, this is from ‘On Marriage’, a poem by Kahil Gibran and it sums up my point of view:”
“Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
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Photos: Courtesy of parents, Beatriz Pérez Moya on Unsplash
This article appeared in the beijingkids 2020 September issue
