I lived in New York for years. I am used to shoebox-sized apartments in odd configurations at exorbitant prices. But I recently went apartment hunting here in Beijing and let me tell you…it is on a whole other level! The following are all true stories. Either personally witnessed by me or told to me by other local house hunters who commiserated. Hope they make you chuckle!
The Cover-Up: I found a great deal on an apartment in a good location but it needed a little TLC. The previous tenant had obviously had a cat and all the fabric surfaces were coated in hair. I am allergic, so I stipulated that the curtains and carpets needed to be removed and I would bring my own when I moved in. The landlord said no problem and agreed to a few other minor aesthetic fixes after I paid the deposit. When I arrived to sign the lease and pay the deposit I noticed that one of the carpets was still there. I went to roll it up and saw… there was no floor! Literally, it was an uneven broken patch of cement with sewage pipes exposed. The last tenant had started a renovation and when they left the landlord didn’t want to finish it so he just rolled an area rug over it! Dodged that bullet.
I Can’t Unsee That: I was looking at an apartment where the family was still in residence and they had a cute toddler running around in his split pants. As I was leaving the child ran up to me, smiled, and released a waterfall of pee on the floor. I have no idea how that much fluid came out of someone so small.
Roc-A-Bye Baby: We have a baby who is just about to start walking and we’re looking for a bigger place. I don’t know if the landlord had added an extra incentive on it or something, but three different realtors insisted on showing us the same one-room apartment with a lofted bed that you reached by going up very steep stairs. No matter how many times we said we wanted a two-bedroom and no stairs they kept pushing this place on us. Since no one understood our concern about the stairs I tried a different tact. I told one of them in my broken Chinese, “Only one small bed. Where will the child sleep?” They looked confused for a minute and then said, “We can hang them from the ceiling!” I’m pretty sure they meant a hammock…but still.
Party Pad: I was shown an apartment with a massive four-person jetted tub where a kitchen should have been. I was completely confused until the building manager explained, “So you can have a big party!” Okay…
It’s a Choice: I was in an apartment that was obviously under construction. Exposed air ducts, half-built walls, ladders, and a selection of hand tools littered the floor. I asked the realtor when it would be finished, and via a translation app, she told me, “It is finished…this is an industrial design!”
Your turn. What was the best worst apartment hunting moment you experienced in Beijing?
KEEP READING: The Parents’ Guide To Open House Visits: Navigating Your Way Around Beijing’s International Schools
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