It’s the topic that would not die: ‘Tiger Mother’ Amy Chua and daughters, (Image by Erin Patrice O’Brien for The Wall Street Journal)
Tune into the beijingkids blog each Thursday as we take you on a quick tour of items from around the web, all relating (however tangentially) to parenthood and family life in Beijing. Previous posts can be viewed here.
Is there any avoiding ‘Tiger Mother’ Amy Chua? Since her essay appeared in the Wall Street Journal under the provocative headline "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior", it’s been impossible to avoid this topic. In the interest of cutting through all the chatter and noise, we’d like to summarize 10 of the reactions to this piece that are worth your 15 seconds of attention.
1. Tiger Daughter speaks out: After all this press from mom, its interesting to hear from her eldest daughter, Sophia, in this essay she penned for the New York Post: Why I love my strict Chinese mom. It’s an enlightening piece but two things jump out: (1) am I reading into it too much that Tiger Mom’s nickname for Sophia is "Soso"? (2) What with all the press about strict parenting, one wonders if mom forced several re-writes and whether she’s sorely disappointed by the fact that the essay was published in the tabloid Post rather than in the more pedigreed New York Times or Wall Street Journal.
2. Is all this hubbub the result of a poorly chosen headline? In light of this WSJ book review of Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, one wonders if the initial essay’s headline ("Why Chinese Mothers are Superior") was entirely misleading or borderline racist — in fact, if you look at the fine print of the book’s cover, you see right away the subhead: "This was supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. But instead, it’s about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a 13-year-old" which seems entirely counter to how people are reacting to the essay.
3. The grass is always greener: While the West obsesses over whether Chinese parenting techniques are superior, Chinese parents are looking to the West for parenting techniques, as CNN’s Melinda Liu points out in this report, where she profiles one of many Chinese moms that are choosing a more western style education for their kids.
4. The issue is not so black and white: In everyone’s rush to judgement on Chua’s essay in the WSJ, most people failed to notice this companion piece that ran the same day, which in essence states the same as the post above: Chinese moms see a lot of merit in the western educational approach as well. Note how this piece currently has 3 comments to Chua’s 7,049.
5. The lighter side of the parenting debate: Gawker blogger Maureen O’Connor, whose mother is Chinese, hilariously laments her less-than-strict upbringing in this post "I Wish My Chinese Mother Screamed at Me More Often, where she states "Consequently, I am not a math genius who performs open heart surgery and violin concertos simultaneously, but a blogger who spends her days contemplating Katy Perry’s breasts" and "My only solace: that Irish-American father’s inferior academic genes came packaged with superior genes for drinking."
6. Socializing is harder than math: The New York Times’ David Brooks makes a good point in his essay Amy Chua is a Wimp in which he postulates that learning to navigate social norms at sleepovers and playdates is far more difficult than math and piano practice, and that learning those skills is essential to tapping into the power and necessity of teamwork in life.
7. Is the stereotype even true? The article Do Asian-American Parents Push Their Kids? from Miller-McCune indicates that despite what some people have taken away from this affair (that strict parenting is cruel and unloving), actually it all boils down to caring, and there’s plenty of research showing that children of such parenting recognize this.
8. Strict parenting gone too far? A lot of people have been drawing parallels between strict parenting and suicide … this shocking article sites research from the US department of Heath and Human Services that indicates that the suicide rate among Asian-American girls 14 to 25 is higher than any other ethnic group in America.
9. The Asian-American Artist’s take Former Beijinger staffer Gerry Mak offers his thankfulness that his parents didn’t attempt to parent him in the way advocated by Amy Chua in this essay penned for New York-based blog Lost at E Minor: "I don’t understand the Asian American parent’s conviction that violin, cello, and piano are the only instruments worth playing. I don’t understand the Asian American parent’s disdain for the arts, with classical music being only a means to attain prestige, not a means of self-expression."
10. Amy in her own words Finally, as a last word on the subject (and we’ll finally hopefully put it to rest for a little while), have a quick look at this video where you can see Amy Chua in her own words and hopefully clarify your opinion on her one way or another. Or maybe not.