Families are funny things. Sometimes loving, sometimes raging… we spend more time with each other than with anyone else, but we don’t get to choose our family members. (As parents we might make the decision to have children, but we don’t get any say in their personalities.) All families have their own traditions and rituals. And for those who move to the other side of the world, away from extended family and forced closer together, exposed daily to a different language and culture, that private vocabulary can be richer and stranger. These are a few of the words which my family have invented or adopted during our time in China.
Clamoring (n.)
We are indebted for this word to the Citic Hotel Beijing Airport, or more specifically its fabulous swimming pool, where there is a sign solemnly forbidding “body rubbing” and “clamoring”. Fortunately my boys are still too young for body rubbing to be an issue, but clamoring is a daily problem: the pointless, needless shouting, squawking, and shrieking which comes from having more than one child around. And of course, the worst thing about clamoring is that it can lead to shenanigans.
Example: “If you don’t stop that clamoring, there’ll be no ice cream after dinner!”
Obsquacious (adj.)
This word derives from an enthusiastic but ill-aimed attempt to pronounce the word “obsequious”. However, it now refers to any obnoxious behavior caused by the outcome of a game; either crowing about a victory, or sulking about a defeat.
Example: “It’s only ping pong, stop being so obsquacious.”
Stwnco (interjection)
The “w” is pronounced as a sort of “u” sound like in Welsh. This is an acronym which I recommend to all parents with more than one child: Sometimes The Wrong Name Comes Out.
Example:
“Noah, stop doing that.”
“Why are you telling me off I didn’t do anything I wasn’t even in the room that’s so unfair – ”
“Stwnco! Stwnco! … Joseph, stop doing that.”
Not seeing the lunchbox (phrase)
This came from a friend of mine who went to Hollywood to pitch his children’s book as an animated movie, to baffled boardrooms of money men. One said “I’m not seeing the lunchbox”, meaning he couldn’t visualize the merchandise and Happy Meal toys which would make the movie profitable. For us it’s used when someone proposes something and you can’t see what’s in it for you. (See also “I’m good thanks.”
Example:
“This afternoon, shall we go to the Watermelon Museum?”
“I’m not seeing the lunchbox.”
Doof (n., vb.)
A doof is a mistake, or incorrect statement. This comes not from “doofus” but from the noise made on the BBC quiz show Pointless when a contestant gets a wrong answer. Can also be a verb.
Example:
“He said Sydney is the capital of Australia. That’s a doof.”
Seeing a man about a horse (phrase)
We picked this up in Mongolia, where it’s a wonderful euphemism for doing a number one. The equivalent for a number two is “killing a bear.”
Example:
“I’m going to the toilet.”
“Are you seeing a man about a horse, or killing a bear?”
Maozedonging (vb.)
We play a lot of board games, and this word is particularly useful in this context. It refers to those times when you form an alliance of convenience against a mutual enemy, but then let your ally do most of the work while you build up your forces for the moment when you turn on each other.
Example:
“Let’s gang up and beat Dad.”
“Okay, but you’ve got to go for him too. No maozedonging.”
Moochy
This marvellously flexible sound can mean almost anything, based on context and tone of voice. In this it is very much like Chinese.
Example:
“Did you moochy the moochy?”
“No.”
“Moooooochyyyyyy….”
Does your family have your own invented or adopted language? Tell us in the comments below!
Photo: Pixabay
