Singles Day is incoming on November 11 and the signs are everywhere. You can’t go far on the streets or on your phone without being hit with ways to spend spend spend!
Singles’ Day is a name with an interesting cross-cultural communication twist for expats new to Beijing. But it is exciting for those that love a deal, and quickly make sense of its connection to China’s biggest online shopping festival. This is just how big it is: in 2018’s Singles Day sales Alibaba reached $30.8 billion in one day, exceeding all sales records to date.
But not everyone wants to spend time buying things on sale for themselves or others as a sign of appreciation. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, whether you’re in Beijing, Accra or Paris, there are five universal ways to translate love. After decades of counseling married couples, Dr. Chapman saw a pattern that is now used to improve millions of relationships through love language fluency. How fluent are you? Take a look at the five languages here and find out:
The Five Love Languages
1: Words of Affirmation – expressing love with words. Think heartfelt compliments that are personal – “I really love that new winter coat you’re wearing”. This can also have an adverse effect, as it means you are extra-sensitive to negative personal comments too.
2: Acts of Service – this is all about what you do and not what you say. Again, taking the time to express love with a thoughtful action like doing the washing up because you know it would be really appreciated not because you feel obligated.
A box of French chocolates bought for me as a surprise gift from my roommate – I love chocolate!
3: Receiving Gifts – this is not about buying the most expensive item on your favorite Double 11 eCommerce platform. Like the other two languages, this is about taking the time to make a personal gesture and buy a considerate gift that will make your friend, mother, or partner feel really appreciated.
4: Quality Time – In a highly distracted world of social media and interconnected technology devices, this love language may be the hardest. It requires an expression of undivided attention where you are the best listener in Beijing, and can involve activities like a long hike on the Great Wall.
5: Physical Touch – Reaching out for a warm hugging embrace or extending a hand to be held are examples of sincere physical touches that make people who are fond of this love language feel valued. In Beijing this can mean different things, as hugs are not very Chinese and holding hands with friends is very common, so it’s important to have that personal connection to understand exactly what suits the person in question.
I believe that I encompass a bit of all five languages depending on the context of the relationship. What is definitely key between all five choices is having an intimate knowledge of the person you have a relationship with.
Photos: Miatta Momoh, unsplash
Sources: www.5lovelanguages.com/5-love-languages/, https://cratedwithlove.com/blog/five-love-languages-and-what-they-mean/, www.forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2018/11/12/singles-day-sets-another-sales-record-infographic/#28d7fade815a
