Opening Track
Whether it be car journeys soundtracked by Santana and Scott Walker, or explorations into the vast expanse of records, scattered and squeezed around the house, my music-filled memories of childhood courtesy of my father are some of my fondest. He worked as a lecturer in the history of music and art, a presenter of pre-concert talks, and an outspoken hater of avant-garde jazz, so I wouldn’t necessarily say my dad rocked. (Apart from maybe that one time when he was found dancing on stage at Temple Bar around 3am after one too many coffee shots – true story.) However, the respect and admiration I have for what he’s taught me over the years is immense, and will only continue to grow.
Scientists have claimed that our musical tastes as adults could be influenced by emotional attachments to life events in the early stages of development. It has also been proven that learning a musical instrument from a young age can help with not only muscular and mental dexterity, but also social skills, and linguistic acquisition. Finally, to the joy of metalheads all around the world, it has recently been disproven that listening to Mozart will make your child smarter than listening to Metallica.
With these studies in mind, I wanted to find out more about how some of the dads I’ve shared both stage and mosh-pit with maintain family life while being a dad that rocks.
Leo and Summer
Leo, vocalist for Beijing hardcore legends Unregenerate Blood, remembers the songs from his father’s Huqin, as well as the Beijing Opera he’d listen to around the house. It’s quite a different experience for Leo’s daughter, Summer.
“Yes, my daughter likes some punk-rock bands like Rancid or The Ramones, but she also loves all the children’s songs she listens to in kindergarten. When she gets home, I’ll stop playing my hardcore records and listen to the cartoon soundtracks and other songs she loves.” When asked about how he might influence the listening habits of his daughter, he’s adamant that she can “choose what type of music she listens to.” Positive attitudes and out-looks on life are more important.
“I just want to let her know that some people are different to ‘normal people’. They play different music, sometimes look a little weird, but they are nice guys that follow their faith. I want her not to judge people based on appearance. The best thing is that while my daughter may not always like the music we play, she loves my friends who are like uncles to her. That’s a cool thing, I think.”
Many new parents’ timetables change with an addition to the family, Leo’s story is no different. “My band used to hang out on the weekends before my daughter was born, but now I’ll stay at home… or bring her to where I need to be.”
Timetables aside, Leo believes it’s essential not to lose sight of who you are and your core values. “With regards to being a father, do not change yourself too much. Let your child know that daddy is cool, and let the child choose what he or she loves. Encourage them to do the right thing; help their friends, help animals, and feel love and happiness.”
Freddy “The Maggot”, Tynees, and Junior
Drummer for rowdy-punk-rockers Oldy Baby and surf-rock revivalists Boss Cuts, and self-confessed horror fanatic, Freddy “The Maggot” recalls a compilation cassette of Chinese rock music from the early ’90s his “Ray-Ban clad” dad would play in his minivan. This is what helped spawn a “blurred realization that road trips and rock and roll were magical partners.”
When asked about how his children might recount their own road-trip rock anthems somewhere down the line, Freddy seems to have somewhat shifted gears. “When my wife was pregnant with our first child back in 2011, it was non-stop Motörhead and ZZ Top while driving anywhere. Part of me just wants to recreate that minivan scene, although I’m dead certain their answer would be ‘Let It Go’ from Frozen.”
“Before being a dad, I’d have doom-metal and grind-core booming full blast from my sub-woofers. Now I can’t remember the last time I fully embraced a noise attack in my living room. Saying this, kids can be extremely loud too, especially when there’s a birthday party. I guess the noise is inadvertently preserved in the household one way or another.”
“Luckily, I’ve passed my hard time adapting to ‘Let It Go’ after well over 1,000 listens. In fact, this song happens to describe pretty much every parent’s situation perfectly. Your kids are going to grow up, no matter how much you want to resist it. They are going to choose their own way of life, no matter how desperately you suggest otherwise.”
Whether or not the noise continues at home apparently isn’t of paramount importance, not just yet anyway. “Both my daughter and son loved to slap on the furniture with their bare hands when they were small, and I took that as an intuitive thing. They had this groove while air drumming. I bought my girl a toy drum when she turned three, and her passion for beating things stopped at that moment. I felt relief for some weird reason.”
“One of the greatest things I ever learned being a dad, is that there’s a duality between you and your offspring. You think it’s just you influencing your kids, but before you know it, they’re influencing you.”
Daniel and Yuni
Guitarist Daniel, also a member of Boss Cuts, recalls “countless hours” spent listening to his father’s collection of old rock tapes in the vintage cars he’d fix up. Daniel is also well known in the Beijing vinyl community for his collection of first-issue rarities, and he cites his father as an influence on this. “He would always be digging for lesser-known musicians and bands. I’ve been listening to music from the 50s and 60s my whole life, and I’m still discovering new stuff.”
Unlike Leo and Freddy, Daniel’s home listening habits haven’t changed too much since Yuni arrived. “The volume was lower when Yuni was a baby, but now that he’s a toddler, I play my records as I did before. With most of my music, I don’t have to worry about swearing or much violent content. Except for songs like ‘Run For Your Life’ by The Beatles. John was a jealous psycho.”
Daniel gives a lot of credit to his partner, Ling, in being accepting of his continued nightlife, saying, “having a child definitely isn’t the end of having a social life, so long as you have a supportive partner and that you each take turns looking after the kid.”
With regard to the musical upbringing and influence of Yuni, Daniel is already curating a curriculum. “He can listen to whatever he wants, but I’m definitely going to give him lessons in the fundamentals of 20th-Century American music history. From Charles Mingus, Otis Redding, and James Brown, to modern artists like Flying Lotus and Kamasi Washington.”
“Rock may be the devil’s music, but it is also a fearless demonstration of your individuality and creativity. These life skills are good for kids to learn from a young age.”
Yuni’s musical roots were apparently already set, with an early fondness for Daniel’s turntables. “He would watch the record spin for 10, 20, 30 minutes and would cry when I eventually had to take them away. So we bought him his own turntable, and I gave him some old records, and he quickly learned how to put the needle on, albeit very roughly.” Since then, Yuni’s amassed quite a collection of instruments. “I also bought him some drums, an electronic keyboard, and I gave him an analog synth and an acoustic guitar.” Some might think this is an instrumental over-saturation, others might think Daniel just wants them for himself, but having been fortunate enough to have a similar arsenal of noise-making tools from an early age, I believe variety and the way Daniel handles the situation is spot on. “I don’t force him to play any of these instruments. Instead, I just play along with him.”
“Being a father isn’t the end of your life. Having a child expands every aspect of your life, but it also gives you perspective and makes you appreciate everything you have and do. As much as I am lucky to have great mates to play shows with, nothing is as special as playing music with your kid.”
Huihan, Sami, and Luz
What do Fats Waller, Louis Armstrong, and Edith Piaf have in common? They’re all in both Huihan and his father’s list of favorite songs. On discovering boxes of his dad’s old records as an early teen, a “whole magic world” opened for him. Saving up-tempo jazz or experimental music for the bike, (and/or preparation for drumming with the intergalactic psych-prog project (afka) SHA!, and feel-good-beach-rockers Prost) as the “freaky music might put the kids off”, a variety of music that focuses on “crisp songwriting, melodies and rhythms” vibrates the air of Huihan’s hutong pad.
Further to this, while the kids might be too young to attend shows at this age, Huihan tries to recreate the fun in other ways. “Any way in which music can come alive is important to me. Like dancing in the living room, using instruments to imitate animal noises, clapping and singing along with songs, changing lyrics. Adding lots of poop and pee words usually works well too.”
With regards to subjectivity in developing music tastes, Huihan adopts a very open and sincere approach after I (rather insincerely) refer to the “pop-garbage” kids are listening to these days. “I think to me the question is: do they love music? Do they really love music? If they keep putting on ‘pop-garbage’ without really listening to it, then to me they don’t really love music, and then I hope they can find their own art forms, hobbies or sports.”
“The topic of taste versus enjoyment is an interesting one, though. I don’t have an extremely sophisticated taste palette when it comes to food or drinks, but I can get intensely and immensely happy from certain foods. I guess the same would apply to music for other people. I’d rather have my kids get intensely happy from listening to mediocre music than moderately happy from listening to great music.”
“There are few thoughts that make me as excited as the prospect of playing music with my kids, but obviously, you can’t force it. Remind yourself regularly what it is that you love about life, then follow up on that. Otherwise, to be a dad that rocks, just buy one of those rocking chairs”
Bonus Track
At this point, I wonder what thought processes my father went through when raising me. The memories blur as to when he started giving me clues about the covers of records he thought I’d enjoy, and a cassette recorder to make mixtapes of what I’d find. Were these decisions intentional or accidents in good parenting? Whatever it was, I hope the children of these dads will harbor the same appreciation for what they’re being taught and, hopefully, someday do the same with kids of their own.
Photos: Uni You
This article appeared in the beijingkids November 2019 Beijing Baba issue
