Is it really that big of a deal to let your child have a sip of alcohol during the holidays?
For the record, drinking age in China is 18 years old, but I’ve yet to see a single restaurant card their younger-looking customers, and videos of small children doing beer and cigarette runs for their dad have been circulating on video streaming sites for years now.
I’m from California, and while the legal drinking age in the US is 21, my mom, along with my friends’ parents, were all pretty lenient about us having a drink with dinner and even having parties with alcohol in high school. I think their logic was sound. “They’re high school kids and they’re going to drink anyway. Might as well let them do it with us around so we know they’re safe.” Making alcohol available to us took away the thrill that we were doing something taboo. It made it unnecessary to own a fake ID and it allowed us to know our own limits before jetting off to college.
We never had to throw parties behind our parents’ backs. Every party, no matter how crazy it got, always had an adult present who stayed out of our way but was available if anything happened.
My fellow Southern Californian beijingkids editor Drew Pittock had a different experience growing up. His parents didn’t allow him to drink a single drop of alcohol at home before he was 21, but when they were on vacation in other countries where the drinking age is 18, he’d be allowed to drink alcohol. It wasn’t a matter of health and safety, it was a matter of legality.
So what’s Beijing parents’ take on letting their kids have a sip during the holidays?
According to Zeus Zou, a Beijing native, he grew up having small sips of beer and wine at family dinners along with the occasion sips of baijiu when he still in his teens, especially around the holidays. “None of us are alcoholics or even that into drinking. It’s just the family culture that everyone gets a drink around the holidays and during family reunions, ” says Zou.
It’s not uncommon for Chinese parents, especially the dads, to give their sons as young as 8 or 9 years old sips of baijiu or beer in front of other adults. I’ve also seen dads proudly tell other dinner guests that his 8-year-old son likes the taste of beer as if it was a rite of passage to manhood.
Not all parents in Beijing agree though.
“The evidence is there for all to see: drinking while your brain is developing, as a child, through your teens and even in your early twenties, has been shown to cause permanent damage to the still-developing brain.” Juliet London tells beijingkids. London is a mother of two, ages 17 and 20. “Most of my friends think I’m being ridiculous when I say we should expect our children not to drink, but I strongly believe that our children are most likely to conform to our expectations. While we don’t want them to drink, if we expect them to, then, guess what? They are likely to drink. I don’t not let my children. Instead, I take an informed consent approach. I have given my children as much information as possible about the reasons they should delay drinking alcohol. I have never banned it. But equally, I have not encouraged them to drink at home with the belief that ‘A little bit can’t do them any harm.’ It definitely can do them harm. Research shows it. We try to keep the channels open. I’m aware that my children have drunk alcohol and of course occasionally continue to do so and are open about it. I would never punish them for this. If there is ever a problem, either for them personally or their friends, that they know they can tell me about it. Indeed, even at their tender ages, they tell me they are concerned about friends who they know are drinking alcohol in an unhealthy way – they come from all kinds of backgrounds, from the most abstemious to the most lenient.”
Alan Wong, founder and owner of the Hatsune Group and father of two, is a regular on the Beijing and Shanghai food and beverage scene. He sees it differently. He gave his son his first taste of wine at just 3 months. “I wanted to see his reaction,” Wong tells beijingkids. “For me, it’s the same thing as parents putting lemons or wasabi in kid’s mouths.” His son Mason is now 10 years old and still takes sips of dad’s wine at dinners. According to Wong, Mason has an impressively refined wine palette. His younger son Ryder is 7 years old and prefers a different beverage. Unlike his brother, Ryder likes the taste of beer. When we asked if Wong is worried that he’ll get in trouble with other parents, “I don’t care, I’m in the restaurant business, they’re gonna drink…”
Similarly, food and beverage professional, owner and founder of TRB Hospitality Group Ignace Lecleir is known for treating his kids like young adults. “I’m from Europe. My grandfather gave me sips of wine from when I was 8 years old. By 10 years old, having a glass of diluted wine with water on the weekends was pretty standard.” Lecleir tells beijingkids. “For me, it’s not a real issue to introduce kids to the different flavors of alcohol. I personally feel that when it’s a taboo, it becomes more exciting for kids to break the rules. When my daughter Paris turned 16 years old she expressed a strong interest in having some cocktails so we went to Janes and Hooch and had 2 cocktails. She enjoyed them, and got sick on the way home. She has been having an occasional drink ever since. She’s not 18 years old and has a very healthy, responsible relationship with alcohol.”
POLL:
Share with us your thoughts and scan the QR code to vote!
Is it OK for underage kids to drink alcohol?
Yes. Why not?
No. Absolutely not!
I’d rather not know what my kid is doing.
It’s only OK if I’m around.
It’s only OK around the holiday season.
Photos: giphy, unsplash, Alan Wang
