Moving to a new country isn’t easy and starting life as a newly single parent in a new country is even more difficult. Yes, books like Eat Pray Love sell us the virtue of reinvention but for the most part, neglect to acknowledge all the other ways in which the necessity for reinvention might be thrust upon an individual against their own will. Moving to a country like China might be difficult enough without the added stresses of raising a family, and worse, dealing with the dissolution of a relationship or a marriage.
So, you find yourself single once again after years of marriage with several kids under your belt. You are in a cultural wilderness relying only on your limited Chinese skills, the less than friendly parents in your kid’s school, or your younger single friends who are generally off to this party or that. What now? How do you pick up the pieces and move on with your life? How do you even go about attempting to let love back into your life, if that is what you wish to do?
A while ago I had this same conversation with Dalida Turkovic, founder of the Beijing Mindfulness Center, as we addressed the social bleakness which seems to confront those who live in Beijing alone and might not be good at seeking out the familiarity and comfort of other expats. One can only imagine what a massive transition it would have to be, moving from married or commitment with a family to living in the mammoth city alone. As Turkovic put it, if you are alone and not reaching out, this city is a massive black hole which will swallow you whole, but if you are seeking out connections, then the city opens up a world of opportunities for you. And she should know since she has been here for 27 years!
Fine. Assuming you are those constantly seeking out connections, going out to the happening spots and trying to make that all-important human connection before you have to rush home and relieve the Ayi. It might suddenly hit you. “Do I even know what to do now? Isn’t everything internet-based anyway? What if I’m thought of as weird for striking up conversations while sober?”
Never fret for I might have found a Beijing-based solution for you. Without overselling it, Date Night China, a blog dedicated to the good, the bad, and the absolutely horrible of dating in Beijing, offers singles from all walks of life a chance to learn about what the dating pool is like in Beijing from other singles’ experiences. All this is tied in with hilarious anecdotes about dates gone wrong, faux pas, and the latest trends and meet-up places for Beijing singles. Nathan Williams, Eleanor Boniface, and Rachel Weiss, along with special guest hosts, will keep you enthralled with captivating experiences and actionable advice.
“We started the podcast because we realized we had a lot of common dating experiences that were very specific to being an expat in a foreign country, yet there wasn’t really a platform to share those highs and lows of dating life,” Rachel Weiss tells beijingkids. “Dating in China can be quite a wonderful experience, largely due to its cultural diversity. However, fast-paced cities like Beijing and Shanghai can be overwhelming, especially if you happen to have one bad date after the other. Since launching the podcast, so many people have come forward and shared their own stories, some shocking, some unbelievably hilarious…but no matter what the situation, whether someone is newly single, a divorcee, in an open relationship, we truly believe dating can be a fun and rewarding experience.”
When asked about the reaction Date Night China has gotten from the local parental crowd, Weiss explained that, “Single parents are another group that has told us how difficult it is to find the time to date. But since opening a dialogue, we’ve had single parents share their thoughts and feelings of dating in China, and even stories of them giving it a go! Hopefully, the open platform to discuss dating has in some way encouraged people to get back in the dating scene. We are always led by what our audience care about and we hope the podcast attracts more diverse voices. More than anything, we are wanting to build a positive community about dating in China, and so far the community we are building is a reflection of those unique stories. We have a Wechat Group where people chat about dating in China and share tips and experiences, and we welcome anyone to join the group if they’d like to take part.”
Granted, this might not be a podcast that you might want to listen to while the kids are running around. But despite its adult themes, it does make the wilderness of dating as an expat, most especially for single or divorced parents, a less alienating experience.
If you’d like to listen, you can find Date Night China at: https://anchor.fm/datenightchina or you can listen on iTunes, Spotify, Pocket Cast and Overcast.
Photos: Pixabay, courtesy of Rachel Weiss
