Should we give kids an allowance in exchange for doing chores? There’s a lot of disagreement on this topic, with most parents falling into one of two camps: camp 1 is in favor of giving a monetary “incentive” to children when they help out with chores at home, while camp 2 says that kids shouldn’t have to be paid for doing chores.
The In-Favor-Of Camp:
Many in this group contend that paying kids to do chores is a great way for them to learn about work and finances. They also think that giving kids an allowance just for the sake of an allowance isn’t right. The way that the world works is simply that when you do jobs, you get paid for them. Gregg Murset, CEO of BusyKid, (an app for children to earn a real allowance for doing chores) believes work and money should always be tied together because they are interrelated in the real world.
The Against Camp:
In his bestselling book The Opposite of Spoiled, New York Times money columnist and financial literacy expert Ron Lieber argues that kids shouldn’t be given allowances in exchange for chores, reasoning that “allowance ought to stand on its own, not as a wage but as a teaching tool”. Then, in his book Dr. Spock’s Baby and Childcare, world-famous pediatrician Dr. Benjamin Spock describes allowance as a way for children to learn about handling money, not to be used as payment for routine chores.
Even the blogosphere is talking about this, with one parenting influencer arguing that under no circumstances should kids be paid for chores or paid an allowance. “If you meet all of your kids’ needs (food, shelter, and clothing) and also give them money, whether you’re paying them for chores or giving them an allowance, they’ll have no incentive to work.”
These, as well as many more professionals, assert that an allowance, if any, should be for learning – not for earning. Learning how to deal with finances but not earning it for completing a chore.
Clean, clean, clean
My Experience Growing Up:
Chores for money? Forget it (forget the money, that is – not the chores). Growing up, we had house help, as is common in Africa. However, we were firmly expected to help out in almost every house chore as long as we were home and didn’t have any school work. This included making our beds, helping with the weekly laundry (no washing machines, it was done with bare hands), and preparing meals (and in my family, authentic traditional meal preparations can go on for hours). So, payment, incentives, and rewards were never an option.
Fast forward to now, and our children are also being raised with this option. For our oldest daughter, I started a “Reward Chart” when she was about four years old. I divided the chart into several chores for every day of the week. Most chores were repetitive. For example, “brushing teeth” was expected every day. If she got 10 stars in a week, she’d be rewarded with a trip to the ice cream parlor, for example. Rewards were never monetary until she turned seven.
Now, she doesn’t necessarily get rewarded for doing chores around the house but we do put some money (coins) in her piggy bank if she, for example, reads five books in a week or practices her piano for five or more consecutive days (I can tell you, that piggy bank is nowhere near full).
But this way, she does have a concept of how money works, even “lending” us some of her coins for the bread machine on weekends. She even expects some interest on this loan, too.
With many households having a house help in the form of an ayi, it can take a lot of discipline to get kids to participate in chores. That’s why the determinant for rewarding or not rewarding kids depends on families and the real reason behind it. Some may truly feel that giving this incentive is a true motivator for kids to dig into chores, which in the end, can only be a good thing. Whatever works for each family.
So, if you do choose to give something, here are a few tips to help you get started.
When to Start:
There’s no right age but many begin at around six. Rob Lieber suggests starting as soon as the tooth fairy first comes.
How Much:
The average weekly allowance can be around RMB 60 for ages between four and 14.
Chores:
Babysitting, gardening, caring for pets, washing the car, vacuuming, brushing teeth, making your bed, loading/unloading the dishwasher, the list is endless.
We don’t want kids to prematurely adopt adult financial worries, but in the same breath, we want to instill them with the values of hard work and saving. You be the judge.
Pearl Kasujja-Van de Velde is a dual Ugandan/Belgian national, a mother to two amazing girls, a wife, and a storyteller. To get in touch, visit her website at www.pearlkasujja.com.
KEEP READING: Designating Chores for Little Ones
Images: Pearl Kasujja, red tricycle, Family Falicity
3 Comments
Reward charts is really work. But……
I have three kids. The eldest child I raised using rewards and everything was fine, but when he was about 5 years old, he accumulated the amount he needed and refused to do chores. I couldn’t make him do anything else, because his already had a certain attitude to matters. Now he is 7 years old, it is impossible to force him to do household chores. I don’t know what to do. I am not ready to put pressure on him, as it affects the child’s mental health. With the second child, everything was somehow easy, he took the vacuum cleaner himself, helped clean the table and put away the toys. He repeated everything after me and I just praised him. The third child I raised using printable star reward charts. The son liked it, but the stars were constantly lost. Then we switched to the Manini app. Now the youngest child is 3 years old and we already know how to do a lot. I don’t scold him if he misses something or doesn’t want to do it.
Now I think about it and wonder how different all children are)
Thanks for sharing Elena. This is fantastic advice for new parents!
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