On paper, the relationship between a renter and a landlord is a symbiotic one, where one provides shelter and basic upkeep, the other provides payment. Yet an apartment is rarely just a place to sleep, but also a home and a place where you make many special memories with your family. With so much at stake, it is no wonder that the relationship between renter and landlord can quickly become fraught. Although they are increasingly rare, we do still sometimes hear of rental horror stories in Beijing, caused by cultural and linguistic differences, misunderstandings, and even crafty real estate practices. But what of the good stories, when the relationship between the renter and landlord goes beyond the basic payment dates and scheduling of repairs, and into the realm of friendship and trust? Like any relationship, it takes time and effort to build such a fruitful relationship, but in a large and densely-populated city like Beijing there will always be some who are up to the task.
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Like in any relationship, open communication and a clear understanding of expectations go a long way in maintaining amicability. Expat renter Charmaine Julie, a South African teacher at the Beanstalk International Bilingual School (BIBS) Haidian campus makes a regular effort to stay in touch with her landlord, whom she has known for the past year. “We communicate casually on WeChat. He usually sends me messages to check up on my welfare or to say hi,” she says. Before making a move to Haidian from suburban Shunyi in July 2019, Julie’s landlord personally made the long trip from his home in Hangzhou to meet her in person and show her the apartment’s appliances and how to purchase utilities. From this friendly start, their relationship has grown, and Julie often checks up on her landlord and his family, especially of late during the COVID-19 pandemic, to make sure they are safe and healthy.
Reciprocity is a critical element too, especially in communication or in returning favors and acts of kindness. It’s usually seen through simple gestures, such as sitting down together over tea, coffee, or a meal. Matthew Kang, a long-term South Korean expat student, fondly remembers the landlord of his family’s first apartment in Beijing. The latter would regularly offer to take them out for coffee or a meal. “We would always make arrangements to return the favor, whether that be inviting the landlord and the landlord’s family ou…or offering them travel tips and advice when touring South Korea,” he mentions. Another expat mom says that her relationship with her landlord is founded on gift-giving. “When we meet in person, my landlord presents us wonderful gifts, such as Chinese teas and herbs,” she says. In return, every time she and her family visit their home country, they always make sure to buy some authentic, traditional gifts to present their landlord and his family.
The tenant/landlord relationship can often go beyond a handshake and monthly check.
Having a friendly relationship and being in close contact is one way to foster a warm relationship with your landlord, but some expats actually recommend doing the exact opposite. Kyle Mullin, a long-term Beijing expat recollects his experiences with the landlord of a CBD apartment that he and his wife rented from 2009 to 2019. “We would purposefully not disturb her and handle any needed repairs by hiring contractors ourselves. That way, she had no hassle from us as tenants. We thought it was the least we could do.” he says. By taking on small problems and repairs that invariably crop up themselves, some renters are able to fly under the radar with their landlords, who might otherwise come to see them as a nuisance.
But what are the real advantages of putting in this hard work to get on your landlord’s good side? Laws protecting renters’ rights in Beijing are increasingly robust, so it’s much less common to be thrown out by your landlord on a whim than it used to be. It can, however, be very helpful to have built some mutual trust when it comes to contentious situations like rent payments. For Julie, this was put to the test when she was planning for her daughter’s wedding. “Due to my daughter’s wedding plans, I happened to be over-budget with my spending. This meant I would not have been able to pay three months’ rent at the end of January.” Julie recalls. “I explained the situation to my landlord, and he agreed that I could pay the shortfall a month later, which I did.”
A good home is hard to find in the city.
When the husband of Mullins’ landlord passed away last year, it had a very real impact on his family. “She discretely told my wife over the years that her husband had regularly pressured her to sell the apartment or at least raise our rent. However, she always had a soft spot for my wife and deemed it unnecessary to give us a rent hike.” With her husband gone, the landlord did finally decide to sell the apartment, but thanks to their years of friendship the transition was much smoother for the young family than they might have feared. “She was very kind with her decision and gave us nearly half a year to find a new place before looking for buyers.”
Whether you get lucky enough to find a landlord who will give you special gifts, give you a grace period on rent if you fall on hard times, or simply take you into consideration when they make major life decisions such as selling your home, having a friendly relationship with your landlord certainly seems to be something worth pursuing.
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Images: Unsplash
This article appeared in the beijingkids 2020 September issue
