Once Beijing families come back down from the wonderous cheerful high of the festive season, they will have to settle back into life. Parents, students, and schools alike will be entirely consumed by the second half of the year and what that might potentially mean for students’ results. It is normal for parents and students to set study-related New Year’s resolutions, be it increasing study time or employing the services of a competent tutor, or even kids being enrolled in extra-curricular classes. But are all of these resolutions helpful in the long run?
With traditional pedagogical ideas and practices upended thanks to COVID-19, this year has been a source of great anxiety for educators, students, and families alike. In a bid to try and reclaim ‘lost time’ spent on e-learning, parents stand the risk of putting their children under increasing pressure to excel in their studies. It is important for parents and educators to consider how best to assist students to set attainable study-related New Year’s resolutions. We spoke to Kindall Tyson, M.Ed. LPC, NCC; Licensed Professional Counselor, working as a Senior School Social-Emotional Counselor at Dulwich College Beijing (DCB). She is also the owner of ‘Aspire Counseling & Wellness Center, PLLC‘. We asked Tyson how best to go about setting these all-important New Year’s resolutions.
Kindall Tyson
Beijingkids (BJK): How important is it to set new year’s resolutions?
Kindall Tyson (KT): New Year’s resolutions can be a source of inspiration for people to begin their year in a more productive, goal-oriented manner. They can provide hope for those who seek to better themselves and although some people that set resolutions do not follow through and complete them all, setting a resolution can demonstrate that you possess belief and hope in your ability to change your habits and work toward being the best version of yourself.
BJK: What are the psychological effects and benefits of setting New Year’s resolutions?
KT: Setting New Year’s resolutions gives people something to look forward to, something to work toward, and opportunities to make desired changes in their lives. Some benefits of resolutions are that they can give your life an added sense of purpose. Resolutions allow you to be more action-oriented toward your goals and realize the changes that you desire to bring forth into your life. Additionally, resolutions provide you the opportunity to prioritize your needs and practice self-care. The essence of setting resolutions is identifying what you need in order to be the best version of yourself and grow in specific areas; therefore, setting resolutions and implementing them can be viewed as an additional way of honoring yourself and prioritizing your needs. Lastly, when you follow through on your resolutions, there is a sense of accomplishment that you feel from enduring the process of setting the goal, identifying the action steps, and implementing the plan. While most resolutions aren’t completed, the ones that are can provide the impetus to keep setting goals and breaking them down into actionable steps in order for you to realize incremental success.
“It is important that parents realize the importance of understanding their child’s strengths”
BJK: What are some negative education-related New Year’s resolutions that both parents and students set?
KT: Parents and students sometimes set unrealistic goals that can cause anxiety in students. It is important that parents realize the importance of understanding their child’s strengths and areas of growth and provide opportunities for balance when educating their children. Furthermore, when setting goals, I believe it’s important that the goals are meant to enrich and improve the student’s holistic life instead of scheduling them in more activities to keep up with other students. Again, this is a prime opportunity for students to enhance their skill set and gifts in areas that they are interested in.
BJK: How can setting such resolutions affect a student’s mentality and overall educational performance?
KT: If parents and students begin the year setting unrealistic goals that make academic life more challenging, students could begin to procrastinate, experience symptoms of anxiety, experience symptoms of depression, and potential feelings of inadequacy if the goals implemented are at too high of a threshold for the student to realize success. It’s imperative, again, for parents and students to engage in consistent, open, and honest dialogue about their academic and personal needs and wants and for them to be listened to and taken seriously.
“If parents and students begin the year setting unrealistic goals, students could begin to procrastinate.”
BJK: What are some useful ways to set attainable education-related New Year’s resolutions?
KT: The new year offers opportunities for us to grow and develop in myriad ways. All goals related to learning do not have to be tied to scholastic achievement. Parents and students may consider setting family goals, such as doing a book reading challenge which will improve students’ vocabulary, foster their love of reading (hopefully), and allow the family to engage in healthy, growth-oriented competition. Additionally, parents and students can focus on getting involved in a new hobby or learning a new skill, such as drawing, writing poetry, ceramics, or skateboarding. The goal does not have to be tethered to an academic pursuit in order for learning to take place. Participating in these types of activities can bolster a student’s sense of accomplishment and enhance their self-esteem while, hopefully, strengthening the family dynamic.
BJK: What are some words, phrases, or language that you would advise parents and students to refrain from using when it comes to setting or assessing these goals?
KT: I believe that it’s important to praise incremental growth; it’s easier to work toward challenging goals when you celebrate small successes. Therefore, I would advise parents to minimize their comparison behaviors- comparing their child’s progress to that of other siblings or other students. Additionally, parents should be more encouraging when their children begin trying new things, so stating that they have to be perfect from the onset could be harmful. It’s imperative to recognize that the expert was once a novice, and that mastery takes time. Lastly, encourage your children through their failures. Failure is a hallmark of success, and those that fail successfully and are able to be resilient enough to get back up and keep trying will experience victory in the long run. So, it’s important for parents not to focus too much on failure as a finality, but to help their children reconceptualize failure as the building block to success.
“Try not to attempt too much at one time.”
BJK: What are some tips to help students and parents to set attainable and helpful education-based New Year’s resolutions?
KT: Instead of seeking to make New Year’s Resolutions that are academic in nature, I would encourage parents and students to relax and enjoy the process. If they notice that there are areas that they can grow in, set some realistic goals, and break those down into actionable steps. Try not to attempt too much at one time; that can be overwhelming. Take it one step at a time and make sure to include the students in the process. Additionally, if you are struggling with doing the aforementioned, work with your student’s counselor to help him or her figure out a more concrete and actionable plan of action. Enjoy the process of self-discovery.
BJK: Any words of encouragement for Beijing families?
KT: I would like families to remember that we are still living through a pandemic; therefore, our normal manner of functioning is different. While education is of the utmost importance, prioritizing their mental health and wellbeing is THE most important thing right now. Be supportive of them, pay attention to any changes in their mood or behaviors, spend more time together communing as a family, get outside and engage in nature more often, do family-oriented things that have nothing to do with school, set some new family traditions. Listen to them; have more conversations, eat more family dinners. All-in-all, spend more time together. Doing so will better inoculate them against the negative effects of trauma and help them along the path to healing and normalcy.
KEEP READING: Best Buddies with Zhichao: Harrow Students Learn from Children With Learning Differences
Photos: Courtesy of Kindall Tyson, Unsplash
