It’s no secret that the culture we were raised in affects us for the rest of our lives, even if we choose to live out our adulthood in a different one. How we dress, the food that makes us feel comforted, the way we like to organize our homes and workspaces, and what we do to unwind are all influenced both directly and indirectly by our childhoods. But recently the Jingkids team had a realization. Our childhood cultures directly impacted our relationships with money and the way we handle our finances. I personally think that is fascinating and worth a much deeper dive. So, over the next few weeks, we will each take a few minutes to explore how our childhood culture affects our view of money both positively and negatively. We hope it encourages you to reflect on your own experiences and what messages you want (or don’t want) to send to your own kids.
My Back Story: My parents are from working-class families. They both worked their way through college and made a lot of sacrifices to keep my siblings and me happy, healthy, housed, and fed. We never went without necessities but there wasn’t a lot of extras to go around either. When my dad’s career offered an expat opportunity in South East Asia my parents took full advantage of it. Suddenly we were living in quarters with marble floors and there was a staff of people to cook and clean. The family dollar stretched a lot farther and we were able to live in a way my grandparents could never have imagined. The collision of the old lifestyle and the new one created some interesting situations for my parents to navigate. They wanted my siblings and me to make the most of the amazing experience that was on offer but they didn’t want us growing up thinking those experiences didn’t need to be earned.
So yes, we had an ayi and a cook but I was still expected to make my bed each morning and clear the table each night. My parents tied those chores directly to my allowance. Forgot to empty the trash cans or put my laundry away? My allowance would reflect that. From the very beginning, my money was tied directly to my work. This has served me well (so far) as an adult and I attribute a lot of my work ethic to those early lessons about the value of my efforts.
How I was taught to use what I earned was a direct reflection of their experiences as well. They knew first-hand the value of a savings safety net and they firmly believed in community, service, and giving back. So, for every dollar of allowance I earned, one quarter had to go into my piggy bank for savings, one quarter had to go to the charity of my choice and 50 cents was mine to do with as I pleased. To this day I am still a saver and a low balance on that account makes me very, very nervous. The downside to this was that it took me a long time to realize it was ok to enjoy my money. That getting something I didn’t need but that made me feel good, like a facial or a piece of nice jewelry didn’t make me irresponsible or selfish. Part of my financial journey has been realizing that you put that quarter into savings and towards community needs so that you can enjoy the other 50 cents without worrying.
But the most interesting effect of my early childhood on my financial habits is not how I save but how I spend. I enjoy beautiful things, but I would rather have fewer treasured items than a lot of things I don’t love, and I would much rather have an experience than an item. I am convinced this is because of how often we moved. Boxes get lost, luggage doesn’t arrive, or something gets broken in the shipping process. Experience has taught me that “stuff” is transient. But my memories of a family safari in Nepal or the day spent collecting dried coral with my siblings on a beach in Sri Lanka can never be taken from me. This is still true for me today. If forgoing a pair of expensive pumps means I get to learn to make a lotus lantern with friends in Seoul or taking a slightly smaller apartment lets me finance a long weekend of panda watching and noodle gorging in Chengdu it’s a no brainier…I’ll take the memories!
The biggest monetary lesson being an expat kid taught me was this. Money is not a magical mystery cure-all. It will not automatically provide you with comfort, security, adventure, or happiness. Money is a tool and you can use it to help you build the life you want. Thanks, mom and dad!
KEEP READING: Maker’s Corner: Motivating Kids to Save Money With a Recycled Bank
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