When I was pregnant, so many people asked if I was going to become a full-time mom. “Just be a mom for a few years and then you can go back to work when they’re in school” was one of the things I heard the most. But becoming a full-time mom was never in the cards for me. I know myself, and I know that spending that much time alone at home with a baby wouldn’t be good for me mentally. But for many women that’s exactly what happens. You give up your career to become a full-time mom, and you take on the immense workload and responsibility that comes with that.
And then there’s what society thinks you do all day – lounging around in your PJs and sipping on rosé. I can’t roll my eyes hard enough when I hear people say stuff like “she has such an easy life” or “she’s just a mom.” Let’s be straight here: there’s no such thing as “just a mom.”
But it’s also not easy for the moms re-entering the workforce after years of being home full-time. Getting used to a brand new schedule, preparing your kids for it, and finding a job that’s accommodating is no easy task. Cindy Marie Jenkins, our Deputy Managing Editor, recently shared her experience on returning back to work full-time.
So, first things first: How do you nail that interview?
Our HR Director, Siyu He, shares her professional insights on some common concerns. Siyu herself took two years off from work to be a full-time mom after her twins were born and returned to True Run Media about a year ago.
One of the things that I hear a lot from full-time moms is what they used to be. “I’m Allie’s mom, but I used to be Marketing Director for *insert company name*.” Personally, I think that it’s unnecessary for a woman to justify her intelligence by talking about her previous job, but does HR agree with me? “As an HR person, I’m interested in all the previous experiences of a candidate,” says Siyu. “I need to know their past behavior to predict their future performance. Because everyone has their own pattern in their career life, previous experience can give enough leads about that.” So, yes, moms! Your life from before your kids matters!
What about talking about mom life like it’s a full-time job (which it totally is)? “In my opinion, I really don’t think [being a]full-time mom is a job,” says Siyu. “I know the whole world is telling us how meaningful it is to be a full-time mom, and we should consider it as [the]same as other jobs. But the reality is not like that. You nearly make every decision by yourself, you work with your family, whom you are very familiar with, which means you are only responsible to your family, not clients or colleagues, you cannot be fired or quit, and you don’t get paid. All of this will influence your intentions unconsciously.” Siyu suggests that you do not introduce your full-time mom life as one of your “working” experiences. “Treat it like what it is. It’s not your job, it’s your life. You are doing what a mom should do.”
So if a full-time mom talks about how difficult parenting is, and what an amazing job she did with her family, it’s not a good thing? “It depends,” says Siyu. “I suggest neither talking too much about that nor ignoring it. Treat it normally. It is a very difficult but amazing experience to have, but you shouldn’t expect others’ empathy. Not all the interviewers are parents who can relate.”
But there are so many “mom skills” that will come in handy at work. According to Siyu, multitasking and decision-making are skills that come with being a mom. In addition, being a mom makes you detail-oriented, able to coordinate, super organized, etc. – all of which are key qualities required for both senior positions and supporting roles.
And when it comes to jobs, there are certain industries that are more welcoming to a woman who needs to balance family, parenting, and a career. According to Siyu, flexibility is the top priority to consider when you want to return to work, especially when your child is under three years old because you cannot always guarantee a calm and normal day. Anything could happen, and you will want to be able to work with (or around) disruptions or alterations to your routine. So flexible job positions such as editor, freelancer, consultant, accountant, HR representative, etc. are all good choices.
The number one thing that every HR representative can tell you is that they don’t like candidates who leave without asking questions. At the end of every interview, you’ll be asked, “Do you have any questions for us?” Don’t ever say “no, I’m good” and just leave. That’s a definite way to fast-track yourself onto the “no” pile.
Important Reminders for Your Interview
What HR wants to know (and what you should try to work into conversation so they aren’t left with questions):
- Why you decided to return to work. (Do not say “I just want something to do.” A specific career goal is necessary for every candidate.)
- Why you’re looking to make some changes in your current life.
- What the advantages are of hiring you as opposed to other candidates who don’t have a child.
- How your family is going to support you.
- How you will balance your life.
Questions you need to ask during the interview:
- What are the working hours, weekends, holidays, annual leave provisions, etc.?
- What kind of health insurance plan is there for you and your child? Don’t assume you can ask this question later when you get the offer letter. Ask it during the interview.
- What’s the company culture like? If they say, “we’re like a family here,” you can ask for examples.
- Can you work from home?
KEEP READING: Trailing Spouse to Working Parent: What Does it Take?
Images: Pexels
