Sure, when they first started school there were a few tears (for both of you), but now your little one happily skips into class every day with barely a backward glance and is full of exciting stories about the day’s adventures when you pick them up. So why is it that all of a sudden, camp is causing separation anxiety?
The simple truth? Camp can be scary. Especially for young children, the change in routine, coupled with a new environment, teachers, and friends can be overwhelming. And whether they are acclimated in Beijing or new to the hood, one more change could be all it takes to cause anxiety. So even for the most confident expat child, separation anxiety can rear its ugly head when summer camp comes around. But there are a few simple things you can do to help your child relax and move past this phase, all but assuring that they have a positive, happy camp experience, and you can have a few guilt-free summer hours to enjoy some quiet time in Beijing.
Talk excitedly about camp: A few weeks ahead of the camp’s start date, talk about all the fun things they are going to do. Show them pictures online. If you can get photos of the counselors and their names beforehand, even better. We’ve profiled over 40 summer camps on our website with all the essential information you’ll need to set the expectation that camp is really fun and you are excited for them to go.
Elicit their feelings: Pose questions to them such as, “How are you feeling about camp?” once in a while. A quick check-in will give them an opportunity to share and will let you know if you need additional tools to combat anxiety or if they are in a good place. Try and avoid statements like, “I know you will be nervous…” as that can implant the idea that they should be nervous.
Countdown calendar: The week before camp, have them cross off the days on the calendar before bed. When children know what is coming, they feel more secure and have time to process their feelings. It also gives them a chance to build some positive anticipation.
Books to read: I suggest two books to add to the pre-camp reading list if your child is struggling with separation: “Llama, Llama Misses Mama” by Anna Dewdney, and “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn. Young children can relate to the stories and it will give you an easy way to help them play out the sequence of events that are drop-off, camp, and pick-up. Just knowing there will be a reunion at the end of the day can help our littlest ones enjoy camp more.
Small replaceable tokens: If a child is very nervous, give them a small token: something replaceable and of no monetary value, that they can easily keep in their pocket. Try and avoid bulky toys or items with a lot of sentimental value. If the blanket that Great-Grandma knitted gets lost or has paint spilled on it, you won’t be happy.
Believe it or not, the most effective token I ever saw was a parent’s business card. Each day at drop-off, the dad would hand his son his business card and the child would slip it into his pocket. If he got nervous or missed his dad during the day, he would take out the card, give it a kiss, and put it back into his pocket. It was a simple reminder that his parents loved him and were coming back.
Drop-off ritual: Decide on one ahead of time and tell your child what will happen. “I will take you to the door, you will give me a hug and a kiss. Then you will high-five your counselor and go inside.” Keep goodbyes short. The longer you drag it out the longer they will stay in this sad moment instead of moving on to the fun times at camp. No matter how much they ask for one more hug, another drink of water, or any other tear-at-your-heart tactic they can come up with, simply give them a hug and a kiss and go.
Know that there will be some days that are harder to separate than others, and that’s normal. Be consistent and as your child becomes more comfortable, the good days will outweigh the bad. There is no timeline. It could happen immediately, or it might take several weeks to have a tear-free goodbye, but it will happen. One final thought – it’s camp and it’s supposed to be fun. So, if this seems like too much for your child, don’t push. There will be other summers for structured play and they can spend this one with you or ayi happily exploring this amazing city.
KEEP READING: Hear Ye, Hear Ye! Take a Look at the Jingkids Summer Camp Index
Images: Pexels
This article appeared in the jingkids 2021 May issue
