Without a doubt, providing an unflappable support system should be any parent’s top priority during their child’s early years. However, can the amount of attention a parent devotes to their child/ren be excessive at best and, at worst, lower their kids’ self-esteem?
Helicopter parenting is a popular term used to describe parents who spend much of their time focused on the safety and success of their kids, and who go to extreme lengths in order to make sure their child succeeds, often by pressuring others – such as teachers and administrators – or even doing their children’s work for them.
But, how can something as well-intentioned as dedicating your time and energy to supporting your kids be considered a bad thing? The answer is fairly simple: You lower their self-confidence. All parents want what’s best for their child, however, they also need to understand that there are some things which kids must achieve on their own in order to properly develop. By preventing your child from thinking and working things out, you also prevent them from learning how to properly behave.
This is an especially relevant topic for Beijing teens, most of whom often rely on their parents for things such as writing university applications, resumes, and more. Likewise, many students even send their parents into battle with teachers over school grades – something they should clearly do themselves. A parent’s unwillingness to let their children act for themselves has created a generation of teens who rely on other people for jobs they should otherwise do on their own.
And such a mindset today could have an outsized impact on the child’s ability to thrive in the future. For instance, if you live a life free from responsibility, you’ll struggle to cultivate self-respect and appreciation for a job well done. Of course, people should be able to count on their families for help, however, when they actively avoid accomplishing tasks only to have someone else swoop in and save the day, it’s disrespectful towards the person who’s helping, and prevents the other from reaching their full potential. While parents and teens can spend long hours arguing about who is to blame for the newer generation’s irresponsibility and immaturity, more often than not, both parties are at fault. While it is true that parents often attempt to hide their “helicoptering” from their kids, it’s inevitable that at a certain age they’ll begin noticing and responding to it. Teens must learn to confront this issue, instead of reveling in it, which in the end is another small part that makes up the long process of growing up.
Becoming independent from your parents is an integral part of maturity, but how can teens properly grow up when they are kept – and choose to keep themselves – sheltered from learning and experiencing new things, in favor of having their parents do the work for them?
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