Boarding school has been getting a lot of buzz in recent years, meaning it’s fairly new territory for parents and students alike. Countless hours are spent filling out applications and writing letters of intent, interviewing with multiple schools, and of course, taking standardized tests. All told, it’s a process that requires a lot of time and effort, all of which essentially boils down to a single question: Is applying to these top boarding schools worth it?
There isn’t one simple answer, as each student’s experience is different and no one will really know until they arrive in a boarding school environment. As such, in our two-part series, we spoke with two boarding school veterans who give their testimonials and insights into the boarding school journey.
In the second part of our Boarding School Insights series, Emily Hellqvist shares her experience repeating her Sophomore year (10th grade) with The Hotchkiss School.
Pro: Forces child to become independent
I grew up confident that I could thrive on my own. When I was a student at the International School of Beijing (ISB), I was able to handle all of my academics as well as extracurriculars plus two – and for a while three – instruments. If I could balance so much so well, I was definitely boarding school ready.
However, when I actually got into Hotchkiss and started there in the Fall of 2019, everything came crashing down. I was struggling with intense academics, juggling a social life – especially as a new student making friends – and a storm of extracurriculars and sports, all of which made it difficult to stay afloat. On top of all of that, I had to keep my dorm room clean? You’ve got to be kidding. Long story short, I was drowning. I missed my parents and I missed my cats. What was I doing at Hotchkiss?
You might be wondering why my struggles are listed under the pros section? Bottom line, it forced me to swim with the tides.
Everyone has 24 hours in a day, and there was no way I could handle everything without smart planning. So for the first time, I opened the school-issued planner and began to list out all of the work I had to do for each class, marking down the due dates and breaking projects into manageable sizes. Slowly, with the help of support systems at Hotchkiss, I started to find my footing, my homesickness began to wane, and I felt more comfortable in the boarding school environment. The reason I tell this story is because even though I thought I was independent, boarding school proved me wrong and forced me to really be independent. Boarding school isn’t about adjusting to school, it’s about adjusting and making decisions for your own life. For me, I learned more in less than a year (academically and about life) than three years at my previous school. The atmosphere is just completely different. Yes, that’s daunting, but you gain skills in high school that you would otherwise figure out much later in life.
Con: For parents, you’ll miss your children!
“How are kids growing up so fast?” is a common question that’s asked by countless parents around the world. In Beijing specifically, many kids spend their days under their parents’ hawk-like supervision, so the idea of them being 10,000 kilometers away can sound extremely daunting.
As previously mentioned, kids like me who go to boarding school will miss their parents. But, it can be even tougher on the parents than it is on the students. In the weeks leading up to my first trip to the US as a boarding student, my mother – who’s always hated cooking but makes delicious food – would ask what I wanted to eat and do whatever she could to fulfill my wishes before I left. The point here is to illustrate a parent’s often desperate feeling of wanting to spend more time with their kid or spoil them a bit more before they head off to boarding school (parents with children who’ve gone off to university probably resonate with this feeling as well).
To be sure, this reaction is a completely normal one, especially since parents also know how busy we get once the school year starts. Sometimes we really don’t have time to pick up your phone calls. Especially for a lot of Chinese parents who are used to playing the role of chauffeur, driving their kids around to different classes on the weekends, or regularly cooking their children’s favorite meal, the nest can feel empty.
Personally, I feel that this con is part and parcel of the pro. That is, I know it’s tough to let go, but if your kid is ready and willing to take the plunge, encourage them and let them make their own choices in a safe environment. Hey, it’s better than to let them make mistakes now rather than later in life when the stakes are higher, right?
Conclusion
At the end of the day, everything has its pros and cons, so it’s up to the individual family to decide whether or not boarding school is worth it. For both of us though, it was an incredible opportunity that we could not pass up. Despite the struggles, we have found ourselves loving this arduous journey that has made us better and more ambitious people.
And if you’re struggling with the boarding school scheme of things, it’s never a bad idea to try out in-person summer programs that a lot of these schools offer (post-Covid of course).
Reach out if there are any questions or thoughts you’d like to share with us!
KEEP READING: The Public’s Presumption of Private Schools
Images: Unsplash
