One of the privileges of working with kids is being able to share in a family’s milestones, including all the big and little celebrations and heartbreaks that make up a life. From first steps through graduation, I am still in touch with students and their families and without a doubt, some of the best moments have been 1st birthdays. The child is blissfully unaware of what is happening but the parents are beaming and so excited to have made it through the exhausting first year.
I have been a guest at a lot of these parties and without fail the parents say, “Please don’t bring gifts.” And, without fail, everyone brings gifts. Bedraggled dads and moms end the day by loading up the minivan with 6-foot tall stuffed giraffes, jumbo puzzles, more clothes than the child can wear before they outgrow them, and cars with “real sirens and lights!” that can’t break soon enough. While they are grateful for the generosity of family and friends, they have no place to put all this stuff. It’s a waste of money and resources, not to mention the child won’t remember or even play with all of it.
But a few innovative families stick out in my memory as having found a way around this dilemma. Here are my top picks for the most creative 1st birthday parties with limited gifts.
Book Party: This family was military and moved a lot so they didn’t want a bunch of stuff they would need to pack and unpack at each new post. The one exception, however, was books. They loved them, were each in multiple book clubs, and more than happy to haul them all over the world. They wanted their daughter to have a full and diverse library, so instead of saying no gifts, they asked that everyone bring a children’s book. It ensured gifts that would be used and it offered a great party theme (they went with Dr. Seuss and it was adorable).
Balloon Party: This particular mom told me, “She’s 1, she has the attention span of a goldfish! I’m not spending a fortune on toys.” So she asked that every guest bring the coolest balloon they could find. The kids all had a blast playing with them at the party and they took up minimal space in her small apartment but provided plenty of fun over the next week for all three of her kids until they deflated and were happily thrown out.
First Food Memory: This was a serious foodie family. Dad was a chef at a local eatery and mom was a self-proclaimed food groupie. They knew their circle wouldn’t want to show up empty-handed so instead of gifts they asked everyone to contribute to the buffet by bringing their first “food memory.” Whether that was the first thing they remembered eating, something they remembered helping to cook, or just a dish that made them remember their early childhood fondly. Not only was it a highly eclectic lunch, everything from rice crispy treats to PB&J sandwiches to empanadas were on the menu, but it also gave their adult guests a wonderful ice breaker and a chance to ask something other than “so what do you do?” as they mixed and mingled.
Wishing Well: There was a little boy in my class whose parents were well-off and lacked for nothing. They came from much humbler origins and were incredibly worried about raising a spoiled child. They hosted the birthday party in Central Park near the famed Friends fountain and instead of gifts, they asked that each guest make an anonymous donation to a charity of their choice and told everyone that any gifts brought on the day would be donated to Toys For Tots. Then, as the guests began to arrive, they gave everyone a small “wishing token” attached to a card that read: “We wish for him to be kind, generous, and a knowledge seeker. We wish that his life will be filled with love both given and received and we wish for him to find adventure in all things big and small.” Everyone could then go and toss their coin into the fountain and make their own wish for the birthday boy. It was incredibly sweet and memorable.
Obviously, there is nothing wrong with gifts, and showering a little one with presents is always fun. But these events stick out to me because the lack of gifts or limiting of them allowed all of the guests to focus on reliving the memories of the past year and being fully present (pun intended) to create new ones.
If you have other alternate gifting ideas, please share them in the comments!
KEEP READING: Beijing’s Foodie Emperor Shares His Favorite Family-Friendly Eats
Images: Unsplash
