Growing up in China, I’ve been very lucky to have two doting but overprotective parents. My mother is the typical tiger mom, and my father an overly overprotective dad. As their only child, you can imagine that I’ve grown up with them “helicoptering” my entire life. Sure, I was annoyed at first, but looking back I’m grateful that they’ve done what they’ve done. And yes, I say that with zero sarcasm intended.
#1: Keeping tabs on all my social media
I wasn’t allowed my own cellphone until I turned 14 years old. My dad – aka the IT genius in the house – keeps tabs on all my social media accounts. On top of that, I’m only allowed to use WeChat. To limit my screen time, my parents set up a limit on my phone that connects to my computer and only allows for one hour of use across both devices.
All these rules in an age of unfettered technology drastically set me apart from my friends. Being the only person in the entire grade who can’t freely use their phone is depressing, but I was able to improve my self-control and also improve my schoolwork. Staying away from distractions gave me more time to develop my hobbies instead of being on TikTok 24/7. That’s when I realized I loved writing and English literature, and that’s when I knew I wanted to major in English.
#2: Tracking my location. Every. Single. Second.
My phone is linked to my parents’ phones, meaning they can both see my location through Apple’s built-in Find My app at any given time. So, you can imagine that if I’m not where I’m supposed to be, my parents will scour the streets looking for me. And from firsthand experience, it’s not fun being lectured in front of your friends.
However, any time I see a news clip about a child being kidnapped, I’m glad my parents follow my every move. It’s stressful for teenagers when we’re exposed to such shocking stories, but by letting my parents know where I am, I’m allowing them to trust me more while also gradually exploring the outside world. And it’s reassuring to know that if something happens to me, my mom and dad will send a search party across the entire world to ensure I’m safe and sound.
#3: Grades and VERY high academic expectations
Going into the international baccalaureate (IB) program when I started school, my parents were very strict with grades. In elementary school, I had 30 minutes of math, one hour of English, 30 minutes of piano, and 30 minutes of Chinese every day after school, with both my parents supervising me. Now that I’m in secondary school, I’m expected to get a six or above on every assessment.
My parents know and experienced firsthand that knowledge is power, and they want to make sure their only daughter can have a slightly easier time in the real world. I’m grateful for how hard they push me because it’s awesome knowing that they believe I’m capable of anything and everything, so long as I challenge myself hard enough.
#4: Micromanaging my extracurriculars
Aside from grades, my parents tell me what I can and can’t do for my extracurricular activities. I can recall the basketball fever I got in sixth grade and how I begged them to play. Instead of letting me join the team, my mom freaked out and banned all my sports. It’s a miracle I can still play badminton. My parents go over the extracurriculars I’ve signed up for and pull me out of activities they disapprove of.
But actually, I’m grateful they take the time to check my commitments. Without that, it would be impossible to do everything while focusing on my studies and continuing to develop my passion for writing. Also, let’s face it, the class study sessions were never useful, and getting a broken bone from playing basketball wouldn’t be ideal during exam time.
#5: No social life, it’s straight from school to home
Anyone who has overprotective parents can relate to this. I’m nearly 16 years old but my parents still treat me like I’m 6. From the pick-up and drop-offs every day to the proposals I write to gain permission for a hang-out, I often feel left out and embarrassed when they baby me around my peers. Especially when I’m always using the, “I can’t go because my parents won’t let me” line with my friends.
But by restricting my social life, my parents let me focus on things that are more important. (Standardized tests anyone?) They also make sure I’m not being influenced by toxic friends because truth be told, there are a few toxic friends I’ve made that I regret. By making sure they know the 5W’s of each hangout, they know I’m around people that make me feel good and won’t get me into trouble with things such as clubbing, smoking, or drinking.
This article appeared in the jingkids 2021 July-August issue
