You’ve got kids, you run the house, and you may also have a day job on top of all that. Plus, there’s play dates, school conferences, and you’ve got to make time for your friends too, so in the midst of such full schedules, when is there time to date the person you chose to start a family with? After all, don’t you see each other every night and share a bathroom? How much closer can we get than that?
But chances are, you probably know that being in the same room as your spouse can hardly mean quality time for your relationship. It takes a little more effort on both your parts, to keep cultivating your connection to each other to ensure you stay on the same page. That’s where the whole idea of Date Night with your spouse comes in.
Let me beat you to the punch before you protest by countering your point that as expats living overseas in a foreign city, we hardly have the luxury of in-laws, family, or neighbors as babysitters. It can even be challenging to find a trusted babysitter if you don’t have a regular ayi.
Here are a few solutions to help with that:
1. Organise a sleepover for the kids at their friends’ houses
2. Do a swap with family friends to see if they’ll watch your kids for one night, and you watch theirs in return!
3. Have your date during the day instead (Surprise them at work and bring them out for a walk outside on a beautiful afternoon)
4. As a final resort, you can also put together a simple date night at home after the kids are at school or asleep (just be sure you’re doing more than Netflix and chill, actually spend time talking or being with each other!)
Erin C, who has been married for a decade and has three daughters, squeezes time for a date with her husband Giuseppe at least once a month, which is “essential for sanity, marriage, and seeing the city from a different angle, literally” She elaborates, “I had no idea how different touring the Forbidden City would be without a stroller!”
She doesn’t put too much emphasis on planning these date nights, oftentimes just winging it without a reservation or advance notice. But she does stress that “It’s important both parents feel happy to be out that night. That’s why sometimes things can’t be planned in advance, and if there is a new baby involved, both need to be ready to [step away without being]stressed. But it’s also important for one partner to kind of nudge the other partner out the door sometimes, even just for a date walk (15 minutes) and then longer as you can.”
Their dates help Erin feel “Refreshed. Rekindled. Reconnected as something other than parents, which is ridiculously important.”
Some of Erin’s previous successful date nights include bowling at 东环保龄球馆 (Dōng huán bǎolíngqiú guǎn) and hanging out at their neighborhood jazz club. Whatever you choose to do, be present, keep devices to a minimum and try not to discuss any family logistical matters like groceries, or budgeting, or anything on your to-do lists.
Want to put the romance back in your relationship? We’ve put together some other non-dining Date Night Ideas –
Couples Spa
There are so many spa places that offer a couples room, usually with advance booking. A personal recommendation if you’ve got the budget for it would be the Dragonfly at Kerry Center. You can do facials, body massages, and more! Or you can opt for a pair of masseuses to come to your place if you prefer to keep things intimate by using this home spa app.
Movies
Yes, there are international films in English (albeit with Chinese subtitles) at many of the bigger cinema chains. You can look up the nearest cinema to you and the films that are playing through the following steps on WeChat. The key here is to recognize the two words circled in the last photo 英语 which means the film is in English! Oh, and just for tonight, at Baby Boom Bar, they’re showing a triple feature of you guessed it, horror films.
Walking Tours
There’s no better way to get to know the city you live in than to walk around it and explore its nooks and crannies. Companies such as Beijing Postcards, Beijing By Foot, Our Beijing, The Hutong and many others regularly conduct walking tours of various historical sights in the capital. With Halloween coming up, you might even consider a Haunted Walking Tour with Bizarre Beijing, if you dare.
Arcades
Remember Angry Birds or Fruit Ninja? Play them in person at VS Sports Park with their virtual reality games that pit you against your spouse, or get you to team up to work cooperatively. Check out editor Mina Yan’s blog and video of the place here.
KEEP READING: QiXi Love Stories: After 33 Days of Online Chatting and a First Date, the Rest is History
Images: Unsplash, Pexels, Vivienne Tseng-Rush
