Love Letter To A Beijing Baby

My Beijing besties found out they are expecting their first child this year. The baby is due in January and like so many couples here in Beijing they are thrilled to welcome this new addition to their family, but also struggling with all the sadness that comes with experiencing this milestone away from parents and siblings.

At first, my friends didn’t want any fanfare. No announcements, no gifts, no baby shower. We all understood and respected that. But towards the end of her second trimester, mom timidly suggested “If you guys wanted to have a baby shower, I would be okay with that…” and the ladies in our group went into hyperdrive!

We had posters and stickers made, debated food options and balloon colors, and cooed over the tiniest onesies we could find. We whipped ourselves into a bubbly frenzy as we gathered our friend group to support and celebrate the new soon-to-be’s.

And the party was great! But as I sat watching my friends open tiny booties and electronic snot suckers – yup, that’s a thing! – I came to a realization: This party wasn’t just for the couple, it was for the entire community.

Roughly two years ago many of the people sitting in that room and snapping pictures didn’t even know each other. Then the crucible that was Covid hit, borders snapped shut, masks went on and we all leaned into each other. At first it was about making the best of it. But years spent separated from our families, missing major milestones like retirements, weddings, funerals, baptisms, and brises had turned a group of relative strangers into a close-knit family. As such, this first “Beijing Baby” for our group feels like a milestone all its own.

I have always loved the saying “Babies are a sign that the universe hasn’t given up on us yet.” That feels especially true right now. In some ways this baby feels like a sign that in the middle of everything we are still growing and thriving.

So to this expected little one and all the others who arrived this year and will arrive next…

Dear Baby Beijing,

Welcome! It’s a crazy, mixed-up, inside-out, backward thrill ride. There will be awful terrible no good rotten days and there will be amazing, “I can’t believe this is happening to me” adventures. And you are lucky because you were born into a community that will help you through the former and cheer you on during the latter. We throw too many parties, take too many pictures, and often complain about things that don’t matter but we have your back when it counts. You are wanted, loved, and supported by a group of people that are strong and resilient and so, so happy you came.

Make the most of every advantage that your location provides. You have access to some of the best schools in the world so study hard. Your friend group will be one of the most diverse on the planet, so have an open mind and heart as you learn about all the things that make us different and the ones that bind us together. Say yes to lots of different experiences so you can find your passion and then focus on gaining the skills to pursue it. Make big mistakes and learn from them because this world needs you to grow up strong, smart, and compassionate.

Welcome Baby Beijing. We are glad you came.

All of our love, hope, and support,

Your Beijing Family