Beating the Bah Humbugs

I love Christmas, always have. Not the presents and tinsel necessarily, although they are great. But the feeling of Christmas.

Being surrounded by family and filled with the knowledge that both literally and figuratively we are moving out of the darkness and into the light. I love the sense of hope and comfort that comes with the celebration, the feeling of long-held, often cheesy traditions that make you feel more deeply tied to your emotional roots.

But this year, I must confess, I have had a bad case of the bah humbugs.

Last year when we realized we couldn’t go home for the holidays I decided it was going to be fun, this would be one more awesome expat story to tell in my rocking chair to my grandkids. In my mind, The Covid Christmas of 2020 would be an epic ballad of merry resilience! And it was. But it feels harder this year to be away from family, a little more painful, laughter is a little more forced and I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. So here are a few things I am doing to try and make Christmas 2021 the epic ballad of merrier resilience.

Don’t Try and Hide It: That doesn’t mean being a massive, miserable, downer for your friends and family. But this is hard and there is nothing wrong with admitting that. It’s ok to tell the people you love that you are sad and a little homesick and lonely right now. Too often we feel like we need to hide our not-fun feelings because, let’s be honest, our life here in Beijing is pretty awesomely privileged. But that doesn’t mean it’s perfect or that there aren’t tradeoffs. The human heart is capable of holding multiple emotions at the same time. You can be grateful and sad simultaneously. And sometimes just acknowledging those feelings and having a good cry with people you trust is enough to help dissipate them. So say it with me. “This SUCKS! Now let’s make the best of it!”

Make a List (check it twice): of the things you love most in your current situation. For me, It’s my friend group. These people have become my defacto family and whether that is free flow brunch or bad movie night on someone’s couch I want to maximize my time with them. If I can’t be with my biological one I’m going to fill my holiday time with my jing family.

Hang up The Holly: I didn’t want too but I made myself put up the decorations this year. And when I feel really sad something about turning on those fairy lights and lighting an evergreen scented candle helps. Tradition is made to provide comfort, and we all need that right now.

Get Nostalgic: I blast Christmas toons (but skip I’ll be home for Christmas on the playlist) and have old holiday movies running in the background. So whether you love Bing Crosby, Frank Capra, The old Claymation’s or Will Farrells Elf let it roll. If you are into Hallmark Xmas movies I’ll allow it but you will receive an eye roll. If you think Die Hard qualifies I’m not sure we can be friends because there is something wrong with your soul.

Gift Thoughtfully: I like giving presents. Not out of a sense of generosity but for the totally selfish reason that it makes me feel good. Not generic gifts mind you. I enjoy the process of really thinking about what my friends want and need, going on the hunt for the perfect item or experience, and watching their faces light up when they tear thru the paper. That endorphin rush always helps and it’s a lot less stressful on my waistline than cookies.

Make New Traditions: Ok, grandmas monkey bread in matching footy pajamas while opening stockings Christmas morning is not ‘gonna happen. Say it with me “It SUCKS! Now let’s make the best of it.” Instead, go to a restaurant with friends or potluck at someone’s apartment and play games until the clock strikes 12. Find the worst B Christmas movie you can and watch it as you eat pick a bagel on Christmas morning or go for a hike on the great wall wearing Santa hats. No, it’s not the same but that doesn’t mean it can’t be good in its own way.

Don’t Sit Alone: Whatever you decide to do avoid sitting at home and wallowing. Acknowledge and accept your feelings and then go connect with someone you love and care about. Do something to make a new memory together.