Beijing has been my home for the past seven years, and leaving it is daunting. Whenever I think deeply about what I have done here, how much I have grown, and all the unforgettable memories that I, my family, my friends, and my teachers have made here, I always end up crying. Leaving a school that I have been at for my entire primary and (almost) middle school career saddens me even more. Change is happening. And I have to face it no matter what. The funny thing is that I don’t even know which city in China I am even from, which is a very difficult thing to deal with because wherever I go, if people want to simply know a little bit more about me and ask, “你是哪里来的？” (which means “Where do you come from?” or “Where are you from?”), I always end up answering, “成都.” Technically, my household registration is in Chengdu, so it would make sense for me to say Chengdu. However, I have not lived in Chengdu for a long period of time, which also makes me wonder if I really should say that to people. I was born in Suzhou, and so, also technically, I am from Suzhou as well. This may seem irrelevant to talk about as the place that I am leaving from is Beijing, but a conversation I had with a friend from the summer program I participated in this year perhaps answered the question everyone was asking me. He said that because I have been in Beijing for the longest period of time of my life, I am from Beijing to him personally. I told him my entire moving journey from the day I was born – being born in Suzhou, then after 100 days moving to Zhenjiang for four years, then to Wuxi for two years, then to Hefei for two months, and finally moving to Beijing and staying here for the past seven years as I am about to move to Zhuhai to finish my middle and high school. Perhaps, I am a Beijinger now. Whenever I speak Mandarin, some people say that they hear a distinct Beijinger accent. Once, I tried to learn the Chengdu accent from my dad as he is from Chengdu, and he said that when I spoke in a Chengdu accent, it sounded like a Beijinger or someone from the Dongbei (northeastern) region trying to imitate the Chengdu accent. This really made me wonder what my identity truly is.
G4&5 compilation
When I first moved to Beijing, I felt like I was moving to a foreign region – the weather and climate were different, the streets had a completely different vibe compared to the southern cities of China, and the people seemed to be different from the people I had met before. However, now, when I step on the streets of Beijing, I have this weird feeling of belonging but also not belonging. I feel a sense of belonging because I have spent so much time of my life here and even though Beijing may never feel like a “hometown” for me, it definitely shaped who I am today.
G6 www trip
I still remember vividly what the first day of school was like – the yellow school bus pulled into the driveway in front of my compound, and I was astonished that I was actually going to the school that I liked, not even discussing it with my parents. Now here I am, leaving the school that I have been at for seven and a half years. Every single teacher that I have had at Beijing City International School (BCIS) has given me some extent of encouragement and inspiration that allowed me to move forward with my academic and extracurricular life with ease – my Grades 1 and 2 homeroom teachers opening me up to a variety of sustainability projects, allowing me to find my true passion; my Grade 3 homeroom teacher teaching me how to find my own principles and follow instructions; my Grades 4 and 5 teachers leading the way to let me have a smooth transition into middle school, and the countless teachers I have met in my middle school life giving me confidence and pride to let me tackle high school with a stronger heart.
G8 shorts theatre performance
Every teacher that I have met these few days in the hallways were always saying something along these lines: “I heard that you are leaving us… Why?… You can’t!” This makes me realize how much effort and hard work I have put into my entire time here at BCIS and I simply think that without the community’s encouragement and love, I would never have been able to accomplish so much. I conclude my seven years in Beijing by saying, “Whatever way our stories end, I know you’ll have rewritten mine by being my friend.” Images: Margaret Yang
