In a bold move that has left expat parents both intrigued and concerned, several elite international schools in Beijing have announced that they will now require prospective students to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment as part of the admissions process. Interestingly still, certain personality types may find themselves having a difficult time getting their hands on their acceptance letter.
According to an internal memo leaked from one top-tier school, administrators believe that “harmonizing classroom dynamics” requires sorting children by personality as early as possible in order to maximize efficiently.
“We’ve found that certain personalities thrive in our rigorous academic environment, while others… Well, let’s just say we don’t need any more rebellious free thinkers,” said a spokesperson, who, sources confirm, is almost certainly an ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging).
What does this mean for students under this new policy?
INTJs (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) and ENTJs (Extraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) will be fast-tracked into “Leadership Tracks.”
ISTJs (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) and ESTJs (Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) will be praised as “model students” and given extra privileges.
INFPs (Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving) and ENFPs (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving) may be rejected for being “too distractible” or “prone to questioning authority.”
ESFPs (Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) and ESTPs (Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) will be allowed in, but only if they sign a contract promising not to “disrupt assemblies with impromptu stand-up comedy.”
Is it just us, or does their latest decision sound like the beginning of Divergent? What’s next? Have the kids fight it out in PE class?
Unsurprisingly, the policy has sparked backlash from concerned and confused parents.
“My daughter is an INFP (Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Perceiving) – are they saying she’s not ‘academic material’ just because she stares out the window sometimes?” fumed one mom of a 6-year-old in Shunyi.
Meanwhile, rumors swirl that some schools are in talks with corporate partners to tailor education based on future career suitability. “Why waste time teaching art to an ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) when they could be auditing spreadsheets by middle school?” remarked one admissions officer. “These kids could also assist the school in running the day-to-day paperwork in our admin offices. We save money on hiring junior-level staff, and the kids get great internship opportunities. It’s a win-win for everyone.”
While some parents are frantically retaking MBTI tests on their kids’ behalf (hoping for a more “favorable” result), others suspect this might just be an elaborate April Fools’ prank.
“It’s probably fake … but then again, in this day and age, who knows. Competitive kindergartens once made toddlers balance eggs while reciting Tang Dynasty poetry, so maybe this is the new normal,” mused one father.
For now, the schools insist the policy is real – but we’ll know for sure if, come next week, they announce that all students must also provide their Hogwarts House sorting results for further evaluation.
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